Provided by site.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

"Your Kiddin" Right"?

It has been so fricking cold, I think my brain might be froze up! It's not a fit night out, for man nor beast! Even the Abominable Snowman is curled up somewhere, riding out the winter! My feet are so cold, I'm sitting with  them over the heat register. My old arthritic fingers fail to work. The thinning hairs on my head are shaking! That's cold baby!!! Even down south is having one hell of a time. Ain't that right my friend, on the peninsula. Hope them oranges don't freeze! I tell my dog to go outside and he looks at me like . . . "your kiddin', right?" I push his little ass out, and tell "him make it quick!"  When the snow was on, it's mostly melted now, although I don't hardly know how. Over the weekend we had a high of 40 degrees on Sunday, in between Siberian blast. It melted some. Anyway when the snow was on and the 0 degree weather was upon us, my dog would go outside for just a minute, and would come back to the door holding up one front paw, that's how bad it was. I stay at the door waiting for him. Any way the hell with the weather! I'm so fricking over it I could just????? 

I hate to drive my work truck anymore! I had to drive it, a lot the past few weeks, and that's way too much for me! A week ago I had to drive in terrible conditions, one hell of a snowstorm, the very next night it was below zero, again ol' Pop was out deliverin'. I don't a, wanna, do . . . no damn deliverin', in this type a weather. I don't even wanna drive the damn truck. That be for them young ones! How do I get through to my Bossy? Maybe, if she found me frozen in my truck, she'd understand! Ya see, nothing", I mean n-o-t-h-i-n-g . . .  works right in fricking, below 0 weather! I've been home 45 minutes, me fingers, are still fricking cold! I'll finish this post later, I'mma, gonna, get my blanket and watch That 70's Show, I'll be back in an hour, but you won't know that will ya?

I'm still cold! I fixed me some fried taters and eggs, with a glass o milk, um, um, good! Now what were I complainin' 'bout? Ya can't hep it, when . . . . . yer cold! Them Siberians may be use ta this frozen shit! We here ain't! I'd like to send them some 90 degree weather with high humidity to pay them back! Ah! oh! I'm getting evil!

Let me change the subject. I'll talk about work other than me, driving the fricking truck! Talking and thinkin' 'bout work, usually gets me riled up, maybe, just maybe, if I'm lucky, I can raise my blood pressure, and get warm! Don't want to get too carried away though! We've been through a couple years of management/leadership crisis, here's on the graveyard shift. Hell 'ain't no wonderin'. Who in their right mind be a wanting to work the graveyard shift? Oh! I work the graveyard shift . . . never mind! It be a bunch o dead, people a comin' from them temporary work agencies. Yep they come in, don't appear to be the cream of the crop, if ya know what, I'm a sayin'.

Enough talkin' 'bout them agencies, they can't hep it, if all them childhood vaccinations, chlorinated water and sodie pop they been drinkin'. Let alone all them good ol' Doctorin prescribed drugs from them Cure Ya All, Pill Makers! Oh yeah! Have you really paid any attention to them Pill Poppers Commercials? Them wonder pills, can cure anything! Erectile Dysfuntion, man they got more pills available today, than you can add up! Pharma-cure-it all, OR Natural. Oh yeah! If ya be feeling a mite blue today, try them reuptake serotonin pills. They'll re up ya, and take yer money away! Got the Gout, take this here pill, and presto be gone! Have a headache from yer spouse, or my fav, yer bosses at work, take a little trip and never leave yer farm! Have the crappolas, take some of this real good super shits stopper, and you'll not visit the crapper for a week. If ya can't go, take this here loose o matic pill, caution, be sittin' on the crapper before taking!

Oh my God! What have I done? Have a cold, sinus congestion? Take a couple of these here pills, and we recommend this here, rooter-rootering, thing a ma jig, to put on a drill. and presto , rooter them sinus cavities clean, all the way to your brain. Another caution though! Don't treat it like you do your ear swabs! Instead of poking, turning, until you hit pay dirt, I mean that clump of ear wax. Man after I strike it rich, and pull out that wax, I go, yee-haw! Please be careful as you approach your brain! People have on occasion removed a few live, brain cells. When you do this You may become one of the thirty five million, that rely on one of them new wonder drugs the Pharmas sell!

Oh my! I could go on, and on 'bout these drugs of today! Don't we live in the best of times, and the worst of times? Ya know, that sounds familiar!!!       THAT SURE WAS FUN!!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. We have had some cold weather here Glen, but nothing compared to what you all are experiencing up there. It's been so long since I lived in that kind of cold that I can't really fathom what it is like. I think I would just curl up under an electric blanket and hibernate all winter. But one can't make a living hibernating I suppose.

    I wish for you an early Spring my friend