I find myself bored sometimes, at this earlier hour of the morning. Seems to me weekends anymore is mainly relaxing. Nothing wrong with relaxing, it just seems, I now need the whole weekend to get my tired, aching, old body rested enough, to do it again, the rounds are getting tougher!
Went to the Doctor, my blood pressure was higher than it's ever been. I find that rather amazing, because I've been as even keeled, as ever in my entire life. I take several blood pressure medicines. I get plenty of rest . . . I must, because my tired body rebels. By Friday night I'm exhausted from workin', and what the Doc. calls, chronic anemia. I have other miscellaneous disorders, of which I ainna complaining. You know, aging, SUCKS! Many of my friends have passed on, and I'm still a workin', fool! (Have to! Ignorance as far as my money manager in my younger years, that be me! ) I still enjoy working, it's the side effects, aches, pains, the arthritis in every fucking joint! (I need to smoke a joint to feel better! Just a kiddin', I don't smoke! Maybe I should start!)
Sometimes, as I lie awake in bed counting the aches and pains, my body fight's its war against me, I think to myself, "is this it? Is this the last chapter, if so, I wanna go in my sleep, peacefully," you know! (I DO NOT want the hospital to add a new wing, from money used to keep me ALIVE!!!)
Mind, my peace of soul, has peaked! Yet, when body rebels, cries out, you can't ignore it!
I was so happy getting off of work Friday night I could cry . . . the thought was so good, it gave me the warm fuzzies. ( You know what I mean! )
"Why am I bored?" Thanks for asking.
That feelings of dejavu, sometimes, overwhelm this old soldier of life! What once come, soo fricking easy, now's a struggle! I can still do the job at work, but am forced to push myself, beyond my decaying body.
I see younger ones with such fluidity! (Which they should be, as I was once!) Yet, they do not understand! How can they, their mere babes in life! Still living in the warm comfort, of their mother's, protection! Having never experienced the many dark shadows of life!
Do you sense jealous in my words?
Ya, damn tootin, brothers and sisters!!!!!
I, an old man, slip deeper into the grave, every day, watch, as responsibilities, I've take seriously, be, but water, off their backs! Nothing, to them!
I've always, gave all, that's all I've ever known, never had a choice, I know no other way! No free handouts given to me!
No, don't take me wrong, I'm not complaining! 'Tis has made me, whatever . . . I, is . . . (Don't answer that in your mind, what, yee think, I be, 'cause, I'm still, figuring it out!!! That be the purpose of Glenview, I reckon!)
I hate no one! That's not true! Sometimes I hate myself, for what I am! A tired old man with too many emotions, thoughts. Is that wrong?
I love to write with about the funnies of life. I cannot dwell there forever, can I?
There is a flip side to us, has to be, we're only human, whatever that's suppose to mean.
I dare to be quiet, keeping my mouth, my mind contained, but I am not as a ship with all tethers tightly tethered, against the storms, the never ending battles, that challenge our very being!!!
I have been working on this post for a week or two, not knowing, whether I'll publish it or not.
The excitement that once was, has left me. Stolen, for safe keeping, I suppose! I don't reckon it'll do me one bit of good, when I'm dead huh?
YES I'M BORED!!! BORED NOT OF LIVING . . . BORED TO DEATH . . ,. OF WHAT LIVING HAS COME TOO!!! SEEMS, I'M CONFINED TO MY, REALITY OF REALITIES. WORK AND THE EMBECILES THAT RULE!
THE SLOW PACE COMFORTS OF HOME, ALLOW ME TO KEEP ON LIVING. TO GO OUT AND ABOUT INTO THE DAILY TRIBULATIONS OF LIFE, I'D RATHER BE DEAD! I CAN NO LONGER BEAR, THE NORMALCIES, OF THIS, ILL-NORMAL WORLD. I FIND IT SOO????
I ENJOY THE FRUITS OF WORKING! MY BODY, INSTEAD OF BEING TIGHT, LIKE AS A CLINCHED FIST, IN ANGER, LOOSENS UP, ENJOYING THE RUDIMENTARY CHALLENGES. DAMN! IT BE THE PEOPLES BAGGAGE, THAT GALLS MY MIND! I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN, ANY FURTHER, I'M SURE YOU THE NORMAL PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, MUST ALSO PUT UP WITH THE SAME BORING, EVERY DAY SHITE!!! I APPLAUD YOU, FOR, WE ARE THE WORLD BABY!!!!
I'M NOT A WISE MAN, JUST WISE ENOUGH TO SEE THROUGH MOST OF THE BULLSHIT!!! SEEMS, LIFE'S A RODEO, FULL OF WILD HORSES AND CRAZY-ASS BULLS! SOME OF US, ARE THE RODEO CLOWNS, ATTEMPTING TO SAVE SOME DAREDEVIL ASSES, FROM DESTRUCTION. MOST OF US ARE THE FANS IN THE STANDS PAYING TO WATCH WAR, IN THE ENCLOSED ARENA. WE BUY OUR BEER, GET DRUNK AND WATCH THE WORLD INSIDE A CONTROLLED ARENA!