Monday, January 6, 2014
Brrr . . . it sure is COLD!!!
It's 0 degrees, a stout north wind howls, this here old fella don't like it, one bit. (The old fella be me . . . HI!)
I went to the grocery for necessities, before the storm. You know like, pringles, peanut butter, jelly, popcorn, essential stuff . . ,. to sustain life! I thought, "I'll pick up some batteries, a flashlight, some candles."
I had a good laugh, I bought a bag of ice. An artic blast of air with record cold air is, bearing down, why ice, hum? I have city water, and is pumped from an underground lake. It's really good water, but . . . them "assholes" put chlorine in it. Yes, I drink it! My ice maker has been acting funny, old, I reckon, like me. I don't like coffee, nor any drink that's hot . . . never did! WHY? Hell . . . I don't know, I'm old, give a person with wisenheimers, a break! Any how . . . after the ice melts in my tea, lemonade, water, whatever, it taste funny. I like purchased ice better.
I could place a Coca-Cola outside right now and it would be the perfect temperature in just a few minutes. I'd be drinking that thing and shivering in my long underwear. Seems drafty on my legs in the winter, if I don't wear sweats or long underwear. Another old thing, I hate it!
My furnace sure runs a lot, hope it don't give out, and I don't lose electricity. Had all new windows and doors put on this summer, hope they'll help.
Others were purchasing eggs, milk, bread, stupid stuff you know! If you lose electricity you can't cook them eggs. Bread by itself, yuck! Milk's okay, but what if you have no peanut butter and jelly?
My dog wants out, you should of seen him do his business, in fast motion, looked like he was hovering above the snow, and shot back to the door a barkin', so as I wouldn't forget him. He went to his bed and covered himself up, probably thinking about hibernating for the rest of the winter. That was an hour ago, he's still under there! He's probably letting his animal instincts tell him, "if I don't drink, nor eat, I can stay under this blanket for quite a spell, and dream about butterflies, sticks and chasing wabbits!" If I were smart like him, I'd call in for a few days, like until the temperature gets above freezing. It's going to be pop-sicle ass cold, for the next couple days.
Anybody's . . . body, is stiffer, and will get frozen in this kind of temperature. "Frost bite in 10 minutes the weather channel says!" I've not needed gloves, until now! Don't need them going from my house, to my S. U. V. and to work. SHITE!!! My mountaineer has a heated seat, for my cold arse! Are we spoiled or what? My first automobile was a 53 Buick, I paid $75.00 dollars from money saved from a paper route. Top of line in its day, age had taken a toll on the heater. It did put out much heat, when it really got cold, you'd have to let it heat up, for quite a spell. Really, it was a good old car. I hope someone thinks that way about me, now!
It's -2 as I type this the latest forecast, which I just checked, calls for a high today, of -8. Whew-wee . . . get out the suntan lotion for the Eskimos!!!
So to put this temperature into perspective . . . stick your head in a freezer!
WARNING! ALERT! PLEASE don't do that!!!
I need a taco or something to lighten this post up!!! Brrr. . . my feet are cold and I hate that feeling!
Oh! I just remembered something, a true story and it's about me. About five years into my marriage, we moved into an old farm house. Since I had access to wood, I bought a Baby Bear wood stove, it was a good one! We loved it, used it in our new home for many years. Something about the light smell of wood smoke, watching a fire in the dead of winter, the crackling of wood, soothing! A oak log pops, scaring the bee-gee-bees out of you!
I'd been outside for quite a spell in the dead of winter, my feet were cold. I grab a book and lie in front of the woodstove with the screen on, so I could watch the fire and read. About as relaxing as one can get except for my feet freezing! It began to snow and we have a double, full length glass doors that face west. Follow this now. I have on insulated socks and house slippers. I have my feet as close to the wood stove as they can get. I actually had them under this wood stove. I'm reading enjoying my book, lying on a blanket with a pillow propping my head up, man was I feeling good!
There is a ledge across the front of the wood stove, a very heavy sturdy one at that. I turn over and place my feet upon it, just a few inches from the fire, ya see! I'm immersed in this book, warm fuzzies, running through my body. I'm like toast, warming up, before it gets too hot, you know what I'm a sayin'! One of the things I really like about this kind of heat. Your cold, you walk right up to it, and Sha-zam! You can toast your buns, right quick!
Okay by now you can see where this story is going!!! I'm reading, lying on my comforter in front of the wood stove, snow is a fallin'. My book is good. I'm as close to a heaven as one can be!!! I fall asleep . . , yes I did! I wake up with a start the smell of shoes was in the air, my feet are a smokin'! I kid you not my brothers and sisters . . . my feet, er, a, smokin'! There toasting baby!