I feel like the Energizer Bunny, close to battery discharge. Survivable in my daily routine. Comfortable to exist in repetitiveness, familiarity promotes dull, inner peace, no highs, no lows. Work and relax, allow my mind to wander gently into the maze. Simplicity, without expectations, sameness without challenges. I've finally found a pinch of peace in my life of craziness.
I no longer search for answers. No longer do I care to be caught up in the Mass destroying of "me" and humanity! The stories always bad, mind contorting. Front page of the World News Destructo reads "Frying Of The Brains" by Brian Evilman. Most enticing headlines for ruination of our "INDIVIDUALITY". Removal of the imagination and innocence of childhood. The Mass Exodus of Morality. I wish not! to be part of. I wish nothing to do with the MANUFACTURED REALITY.
To make the leap I search for, I must go back, re-wear my favorite denim, FEEL once again.
A few weeks ago I was happy with mediocre existence that I have only recently sustained. Medicines slow me down, physically/mentally, doing their job I suppose, living longer, right!!!...
Then from out of the nowhere, my "virtual" (Laughing to myself at what that one word brings to mind, you may not find it as funny!) existence seems threatened! Immediate selfishness of my new found existence appears threatened. A montague of emotions overwhelm me. I finally find a bit of security! do I shut off my survival instincts to salvage my self-imposed exile? Ah, but there exist a life more important than mine, more important to my family! My measely self-imposed existence is nothing to the stakes at play here! I kick myself a-thousand times at my selfish thoughts I would be lying if I told you otherwise. I'm not about to lie to you, or at myself. This adventure of mine into blogging is too important for that. If I achieve nothing else in my prose here on this self-examination of my mind, everything I write will be total honesty, my viewpoints, opinions, humor as I see it. There can be NOTHING greater to give than that! (DAMN where did that tiny tear running down my cheek come from!)
The foundation of my family begins to crumble, real health issues. I must come out of my selfish attempt of sustainable existence. A family grown apart must come together. Children leading different life's of normal life separations, must return to the cohesiveness of youth, be a family once again, "reality", love, sorrow, lost basic values of life. Pleasure of a heartfelt hug, cherished in childhood.
Adults, can't show love can they??? Adults need love just as much as children! MAYBE MORE. THE MASS GIVING, OR RATHER BUYING OF MEDS, POSSIBLY FOR MANY MENTAL DISORDERS MIGHT BE CURED FROM SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A HUG. I'M SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE MIND YA! I HAD GROWN COLD AND CALLOUSED TO "STAY ALIVE", WHY I'M NOT SURE!!! JUST FELT RIGHT IN ORDER FOR MY OWN SURVIVAL!
Simple everday improvements bring much needed joy, laughter! Someone once thought as quite possible to never get out of bed walking room to room slowly determined with the aid of a walker brings tears of happiness. Looking across the kitchen table "heart to heart" no words spoken is glorious!!! There ain't nothing better than a true belly laugh at each other's expense, that's closeness as only a family can give.
I HAVE BEEN GRANTED THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFT ''EVER", SOMEONE UNDERAPPRECIATED. I HAVE BEEN GIVEN BACK MY FAMILY. SOMETHING GOOD FROM SOMETHING BAD!!! Thank you for visiting my most humble sight... Glen View!!!
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