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Saturday, August 27, 2011

Brain Gas

Is the purpose of headlines to grab you and hold your itty-bitty brain? For how long? If your developmentally slow, could be, that's all you'll read right! Oh I get it, if you're old and ancient like the pyramids, like me and my older friend, Ah-Klem, hey I didn't make that name up, for once someone else I hang with is strange. You think I'm a mite challenged! Well, a lot challenged, BUT Ah-Klem is a smart challenged one. He went to college and was employed by one of the largest companies in the world, yep, I wouldn't lie to you, no sir. He got an imagination like me, only imagines smarter stuff than me. Hey I got an idea, maybe, just maybe I can get him to write a little something for Glen View. Let's ask him real nicely, [clapping]. "Hey, Ah-Klem old buddy, old friend of mine, how about you write a little post for me and let your imagination GO. It don't matter just something that you think might appeal to all".

That's the first time in my life I ever got sidetracked. Old people like me cannot read the fine print without glasses. Oh yeah, I understand now! Daylight in the swamp! They give us a headline and let the old people use their own imagination. Example of my imagination, headline reads, "Armed man flees with cash". That is a wonderful lead for the police. It would been a much better lead for the police if say for example, if a one armed man robbed like on The Fugitive, but Armed man certainly doesn't give much, does it?

I absolutely love this headline, "Squirrel swipes flags". Damn. I sure would like to see the size of that squirrel! I bet that squirrel lives close to a Nuclear dump! If he is stealing flags as meaning more than one, he must have friends or a family. Whow-wee wouldn't you like to see Billy Bob and Joe Bob hunting during squirrel season and come around a big old oak tree and see these critters! Can you imagine the headlines in the Squirrel News, "Squirrels swipes shotguns". There would be a picture on the front page showing these two gigantic squirrels reloading their newly acquired double barreled shotguns, smoke coming off the barrels, and in front would be Billy Bob and Joe Bob holding their pants and running for their life! Hey I would buy a copy of that front page.

Well I'm not exactly sure about this one, but hell let's see where this goes. I have a feeling I'm just getting warmed up for this one. "Danica leaves IndyCar, will team with Tony". Well la-dee-da!!! Who the hell cares! Unless you're like Billy Bob and Joe Bob who can't sit on the couch because their asses are full of buckshot purchased at Wally's World of Shotguns, who else gives a rat's ass. The rest of the world is trying to keep a roof over their head, food in our belly and diapers on Rachel Mae. Damn no one cared to see her go around in circles in IndyCar! What makes the promoters think anyone will watch her go around in Nascar! Ah oh! I didn't think this one through, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT how many bOObs are there out there, oopsey, I may have made a slight miscalculation in beer guzzling, four wheel drive guzzling, patriotic, tee vee watching nuclear altered six foot male squirrels with shotguns, with more brains than Billy Bob and Joe Bob!

I'm going to put you on hold for a few moments, I need to meditate & medicate to get the serotonin uptake synapse kicking good stuff a-going... [ohm, oohhmm, ooohhhmmm.......................[snoring]......[loud snoring]... uh.uh,uh I'm back. That meditating thing is wonderful, its like taking a nap, us old farts, need our naps. I had a brief nightmare of a six foot squirrel with a shotgun chasing me and I scurried up a tree and heard a blast, then I woke up. Damn glad I did! I would of hated a tree stuck up my ass and coming out my mouth, over a fire pit with a bunch of hungry squirrels ready to uuuweee, makes me shiver just thinking about it!

In a separate story about Danica. Thais article list her as the third highest paid female athlete, wooza, that gotta be a lot o-dough and she has won, one race! I've heard the word telegenic used with her. Sheesh I don't even have to look that up. She look real fine on the TELE as in vision, and what do they advertise on the TELE!

To explain it so Billy Bob Joe Bob can understand. How would you two like all the beer, munchies, food, and gas for your pickup for life, that takes what, "MONEY".

Advertising gonna pay for here because she is telegenic. Ain't that a hoot! People are dying everywhere around the planet and them billionaires think we people that make the world go want to see what they call commercials! Apparently it's working because they're doing it. Do they not know there is a deep recession going on in the world!

IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOES IT???  ASS LONG ASS (you're asking yourself, did he misspell that on purpose.) WHAT DO YOU THINK???    Please let me know if you liked this type format called Brain Gas. Thank you and see you later here on Glen View.

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