WHEN PIGS FLY

I hope, I got your attention with these silly three words, errr that was my goal. As I am working and a-thinkin, my job is so boring I let my mind wander. I have found out it is better or let's say physically better on my limbs as I run a boring simple machine to let my mind wander than actually close my eyes and take a nap.

I don't remember where I heard this expression first but I love it and suddenly out of nowhere it pops into my head and I actually laugh to myself, at the mental image. I see myself as a young boy listening to the older family members after Sunday Dinner and arguing going on as always, over something or another and one hillbilly saying to the other hillbilly in retaliation to a disagreement. "Yeah! When Pigs Fly", aw come on now, use just a itty bitty bit of your imagination I know you have some and put some angel type wings on a little piggy flying up, up, and away it's Super Piggy. If you can't at least get a smile from that picture, then there sure as hell ain't no dang hope fer ya.

When pigs fly is something you might of heard on Ma & Pa Kettle movies, over 50 years ago. You say "you never heard of Ma & Pa Kettle" fer Heavens sakes how the hell can that be!!! Where in tarnation have you been all your life. Shoosh, I found them funnier than watching the Greasy Pig contest at the County Fair. ( Did I hear someone out there in Blogland say you never heard of a Greasy Pig contest). Lord Almighty, there ain't no hope fer ya, lest you be a-readin this here story. Let me give you another "little piggy" imagination story while I am-a-haming it up. (Damn, I must have ham and eggs on my mind, the country breakfast of Cham-pi-ons). In the County Fairs you take 30 pound piggies and put something greasy on them little feisty critters and let young-ins try to catch them, and if-fun they can hold on to them piggies, they win them! It be wholesome family entertainment that will make you bust a gut from laughing. Whomever would want to see 2,000 horsepower tractors pull a wagon of cement a few feet ain't a true Hillbilly! and you can bet my little piggy that went to the market on that!

Pa Kettle might say to Ma Kettle "one of this days I'm gonna fix the leaks in the roof ".

Ma knowing how lazy Pa was would fire back "when pigs fly".

Maybe I should give a little overview to those of you who may never heard of Ma & Pa Kettle. They were poor country folk who had about a dozen young-ins. Ma was a big woman and Pa was skinny as a rail. I am a gonna try to explain this in simple words without a-cursin. Uhh!, let's see now, Pa was lazy and skinny because all he wanted to do!, remember they had a heap of young-ins, from a baby all the way up. Seems the only work Pa would do, was a-push-in "in", and Ma would haf-ta do all the push-in "out". Ah!, ha!, ha!

 SO APPARENTLY WHEN PIGS FLY MEANS IT AIN'T NEVER GONNA HAPPEN.