"Oh no! break out the smelling salts, you might soon pass out from too much blood rushing through your brain, oxygen overdose coming through. Pressure exceeding limits, automatic protection light is flashing, warning, warning"! A disguised voice from within my head has just spoken these words. (I ask myself),
"Who the hell said that" (I'm aware that sometimes it gets a might confusing to you that a man such as myself can converse with myself. Just think of it this way, everybody has an inner voice I just have a bunch, okey! dokey)! FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I HEAR NO INNER VOICES... "complete silence" "nothing". I hear a pin drop within my skull and it chimes and echoes as if Notre Dame rang their bells at midday. I now experience the absolute quiet I have waited a lifetime for, soooo peaceful, absolutely no brain activity. If Doctors were monitoring my brain waves it would show_______ a flat line. They would say "pull the damn plug on ol Pop over there, harvest any usable organs".
I sit down in my favorite chair to relax, bask in the peace and quiet to do some serious thin-kin. I take a few deep breathes and wait, and wait. I look at the clock, 10 minutes has gone by, not one damn thought has crossed my mind. This is plum rediculous, yesterday I wrote about pigs flying, there has to be something in there, just relax! I hear the refrigerator kick on in the damn kitchen, I hear the next door neighbor's dog barking, half mile away. I hear a fly buzzing happily in the basement, "buzzz, buzzz. I can feel and hear my heartbeat, my breathing was irritating the hell out of me! Half a frigging hour has gone by and I am irritated as hell. I decide to get a couple beers, that will relax me. I drink them and lie down on the couch, ah it feels good I am going to do some real thin-kin. The cell phone rings within a foot of my head, I hear a voice breathing heavily, that's all I need at this moment. I lie back down, the moment of relaxation is gone. I drink two more beers and shut the cell phone off. Possibly some music turned down realll low will help. Finally I'm at peace. Two hours have gone by and four beers not one damn thought of anything except irritation" This is absolutely asinine I finally have my brain all to myself and zilcho not one brain wave of any consequential thought oh!, oh! oh! that's a pretty big word maybe a couple more brewskies will do the trick. Yes-sir-ree-bob-a-lou-ie a couple more alcoholic drinks to clear out all the infection of them misfits. I have four beers left that sure as hell ought to do it! I woosily lie down woo-wee my head is spinning, I close my eyes and and and...
I wake up holding my head with both hands, as to steady the room. I'm thin-kin who hit me in the frigging head with a frigging hammer. I try standing up and fall back onto the couch and I am-a thin-kin this is the worst frigging headache I have ever had and I can't get to the aspirins. As I am suffering all alone here on the couch, I feintly hear a voice say "Senor!!! you, drinkee, a little, too, much, Tequila, yes!!!
I answer, "yes Jose, I most certainly did".
"Senor I am the only one still awakee, up here, a wee bit, every body else is taking a Tequila Siesta and I don't think they will not, be conscious until sunrise!!! I gonna join them, until tomorrow Senor.
The next morning I make it to the aspirins, drink a half gallon of orange juice and take a cold shower. I sit down at the kitchen table and hear what sounds like a chorus of people "shivering" and saying "please don't ever do that again, we'll be better and quieter we promise".
YOU KNOW! I DIDN'T GET MUCH THINKING DONE BUT THE WAY I FIGURE IT IS, EVEN WITH THEM VOICES IN MY HEAD, THEY KEEP ME ON MY TOES AND I THINK BETTER THAN A LOT OF IN-DI-VID-U-ALS I COME INTO CONTACT WITH IN MY MEASILY LITTLE EXISTENCE. UNTIL NEXT TIME I BID YOU GOODNIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT AND DON'T LET THE BED BUGS BITE!!! YOUR FRIEND OVER HERE AT GLENVIEW.