A PAIN IN MY POCKET &

A hole in my head, always a pain in my pa-tuu-tee. (Doctor Phil a resident psychiatrist feels the need to address me, since he resides in my head I will allow him a moment, as you can tell I always have a lot going on up top).

"Normally I would not chime in this early, I would take advantage of my $150 an hour but since I am retired and visiting the depths of your hollow core, you call a brain. Ha! ha!, I've out done myself on
that one, "hollow core".
  
I was about to explain before Doc Phil interrupted. A pain in my pocket, meaning always an empty billfold. Bills, taxes, car repairs, it never stops. I put a-hundred $'s in savings, I then get a bill for two-hundred $'s. It never stops, never, never, never, sorry but I want you tooo feeel my pain!

A hole in my head! I see other people that do not hold onto a job, yet drive a better car than I do! How the hell do they do that??? Is there a money tree, a rainbow with gold, some kind of hidden Masonic wisdom, that me a poor boy, from a poor family, from an even poorer Hillybillish family. There is an old saying "I was sooo poor I did not have a pot to piss in"! All you-ins of today, esss-pecially you fancy pant-sies ones, do not understand a poor mans vocabulary. But I do! I will stoop so low, it will become "clear", well actually "yellowish". Just hang in there I will explain, I don't want to leave you hanging out on a limb.

"Jesus Christ, God almighty, you could make a preacher cuss the way you ramble on son", that would be Reverend Timothy McGillicutty.

You see, back in the days before the pur-tee white cam-mod-eees, there was them thangs, called out houses, now what do you suppose you done in them there ooo-uuut houses? Uuuu-huuu, you guessed it!!! Sooo at night time to keep from getting your red long johns with that there handy flap in back crispy cold! There was this big ol white enamel "POT-TEE" with a lid. I pity the fool that raised that there lid after it had been used a few times Woo-wee mak-a your eyes water!

Sooo I must have a hole in my head cau-sin I have worked my paa-tuu-tee off all me dang life and I ain't had nothing giv-un to me! So all you damn namsey pamsies that #@&* the system are probably the same sons-a-bitches that cheat on test, cheat on taxes, lie, lie, lie and you are better off than this ol backwoods Sunday School goin son of a Preaching man.

THEY SAY IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TOO TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS, I AM-MA READY TO LEARN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!