I come to you tonight with a sad heart, Hewie Picardo, my old computer has bit the dust, "Yes I named it, doesn't everybody?" Oh perhaps not! Don't I feel foolish! Nah! I do believe that I killed him off with my style of writing and all the mistakes I make. Oh well! "Another one bites the dust!"
How y'all out there doing? Fair to meddlin' I hope. I heard that somewhere, don't remember where, I'll throw that in free of charge.
What have I been up to, oh about 5 foot 9 inches tall and I won't tell you my weight. I do believe I'm shrinking as far as the height. As you age you kind of get more of humping down thing, age has taken its toil. Age also takes its toil on the other kind of humping, if you know what I mean! Sure you do or you will as you get older! As far as the weight thing, I basically have given up everything I use to love. Number one being then sugary caffeine soft drinks. Damn! did I ever love them. I was hooked on them, ya see my mom loved her Coca-Cola and I did also. We did not buy them at the grocery store because money was needed for more important things, like food! A Coca-Cola was a special treat, back then they come in small bottles of 6 ounces, oh yeah! Can you imagine that with the gigantium size ones you can buy at these convenient stores. I don, go there any more but I do the last one I bought was a humdinger, ( you've heard that word before right? ) 42 ounces for 89 cents. That be one hell of a lot of sugar even after ice, yes it would. Hell I ain't even talkin' 'bout the caffeine boost, but these here kids of today are use to that caffeine. Ya see they have to have that caffeine for the texting, uh huh, you know what I'm tellin' you!
Any how, I got to loving them sugary soft drinks, so when I started earning money in the summers mowin' grass and later as a paper boy I got hooked on them, yes I did! I kept that bad habit until recently. I have pert near give up everything I use to enjoy, a tryin' to lose weight. I have been tryin' to be more active, but there seems to be a big problem. I have no energy! Once upon a time not all that many generations ago I was full of energy. Well hell yeah! I was younger and hopped up on sugar and caffeine, any lame brain moron coulda figured that out! I was 10 on the energy mater, now I'm 1, on my better days! Would I lie to you, hell no!!! I been pushin' myself by mowing the grass by hand, BUT DAMN! I hurt all over, I hurt in places I never knew there was places. Didn't use to be like this, I consoled myself by thinkin' that "I'll get use to it," DAMN!!! SHITE!!! I been doing this for about 10 weeks, guess what, ain't no better! Damn over the counter pain meds ain't worth a shite! I've tried them all, I actually think they make it worse, either that or my body just laughs at them puny pills! The doctor he says "you need to get more exercise." Uh huh! I want him to visit inside my body for just one day, hell just for hours. I mow about 15 minutes then rest for 15 minutes, so after I mow for about 2 hours, I have 1 hour of mowing and 1 hour of resting. Some days I cannot mow that long. I have a big yard and after I get it mowed it's time to go at it again, its been such a wet spring. So let's say on a good day of mowing and resting, 1 hour each. I come in and drink some water, take a good long shower and eat something, put my feet up, and my whole frickimg body starts to, how do I say this? It starts rebelling, it tightens up and them pains are a sprouting every where! I don't have enough ice pads and foot bathes to win the battle. No way no how! When I have to get up I be a lookin' for me cane, it takes all can do to get my big arse up and out of the easy chair! There's two different sides to callin' it, an easy chair, you'll only know this if you're older. Easy yes, you can plop your tired ass body down into that leather and it snuggles you in comfort! NOW, you have to ease that aching body from the grasp of comfort as your whole body fights you! "That ain't easy folks!" You have pain showin' on your face as the leather chair slowly releases its hold, you f'anigle your fat ass to the edge, but you aren't done yet, you got-sa place both arms on the chair with your shoulders already hurting and lift up to your feet, then you be a lookin' for that cane fer balance, yes sir! Them first few steps is excruciating, yer damn body has forgotten its job! Works a mite better after a few steps but it is protesting! Protesting a leavin' the confines of the easy chair, which you would not have if-fin you didn't have to pee!
The next time I go to the Doctor in, over a month I'm going to explain to him my quandary, it be hell if you do, and hell if you don't, I wanna my share of them good pain meds! "What are you waitin' on won't do me no damn good when I'm dead!!!!!"
That's what there suppose to be for us old ones, why should we suffer because they're abused by others! I don't want to abuse, shoot up, or inhale up my nose, I just want to mow my fricking grass ( not smoke grass ) and be able to move a little without PAIN!!!