This is Mr. View, how has your new year been? Have you blown your resolutions yet? Mine was to post 4 times a week and loose 2 lbs a week. My ass has been in the hospital and my internet has been ka-blu-ee for 14 days and counting. I'm fit to be tied "what in tarnation does that mean" ask Psycho Phil. (Reminder I have an unlimited cast of characters carousing upstairs that speak their mind.) There is no fun to writing if I can't post. My friend Klem has got me addicted and I have been forced to go cold turkey. I'm borrowing my sister in law's line to post. I once was addicted to prednisone but this here is a natural high I have grown to love.
I walked into the E.R. of the hospital. One look at me and I felt like a celebrity. Within 10 minutes I was hooked up to every monitoring device they had. I had an easy access port for all the good medicine that would follow. I begin inhaling some steroidal crap to help me breathe and a nitroglycerin pill to blow up my lungs. Yeah baby I'm-ma getting my money's worth. Chest X-Ray and cat-scan, diagnosis excess fluid up causing my heart not to pump properly and we sure as hell don't want that!!! Therefore oxygen was out of kilter. They inject Lasik and all I did was pee-pee-peee. I am admitted and have an ultrasound of both legs to rule out blood clots. The next morning I have an ultrasound of my heart. The technician did not like the look of something, "inconclusive results" she says and we do not want no damn inconclusive results on Glen Bob here. She made a phone call and a nurse injected me with some shit to enhance the image. Within minutes she had to inject me with some more crap to remove the old crap and that is a lot of crap!!! Two Vampires I mean blood suckers, came with the damnest bunch of bottles with which they put my blood into. Apparently Vampires around Columbus need their B-12 Blood shots.
Oh I almost forgot, my legs are swollen and I had a bad rash up to my knees on both. It was driving me crazier, just imagine that! This damn rash started not too long after I received a flu shot and a tetanus shot one week apart. HUUUMMM!!! "COINCIDENTAL" not in my fricking mind.
So after the hospital uses all of their diagnostic equipment, they can probably pay for that new wing addition they want. I find out my heart is beating normal for my age. Something caused my body to retain fluid, HUUMMM!!! Kidneys are not flushing the salt out so on and so forth etc. I am 10 weeks ahead on my diet, thanks to my hospital stay so I'm sailing right along on that resolution. If you are reading this I am 8 posts behind on my Blog. By the way there ain't no way you can rest in a hospital. If they sock you full of good stuff that puts you into a coma, then you can rest, but when they are poking you and prodding you every every 15 minutes how the hell are you suppose to rest? ***Interesting note***The highlight of my stay was watching 12 hours of The Little Rascals silent shorts on the boob tube. They were hilarious!
HELLO AGAIN TO ALL OF YOU IN BLOGSPHERE. I HAVE WRITTEN A HEAP OF STORIES AND CANNOT WAIT TO POST THEM IF I EVER GET MY INTERNET GOING AGAIN. I TRUST YOUR NEW YEAR HAS TREATED YOU BETTER THAN ME.
GLEN OVER HERE AT GLEN VIEW WHERE YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT COME OUT OF MY MENTAL INSTITUTION OF A BRAIN.
Hilarious! Keep posting!
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