OLD MRS. HENRY & VELMA RUTH

      ***ATTENTION*** I have something new I call "SHORT RUNS." It is my way of priming the pump to get brain cells going or ending if I am taking my meds before bedtime. This shorts may make you laugh or frown.
I was born a poor sharecroppers son in Alabama. You ask "how poor was I." I was so poor people called me Patches. Oops!!! that was my father or was that a song? Something is not right in my brain this afternoon. Damn I hate when Fartman let's one loose upstairs. When he cuts one I cannot think for hours. That is bad enough but when the taste settles on my tongue woo-wee. Man, it is a good thing I do not smoke or I would spew fire like a circus act. When Fartman releases built up pressure all 100 uninvited freeloaders sing uuuuu like a Baptist Choir right in tune.
"Young man did you see the title before you began typing?" That sarcastic freeloader is English Professor Mr. English gives me migraine headaches sometimes as he attempts to teach me proper English.
My little foul mouth friend Joe Pesky jumps to my defense, "leave the discombobulated nincapoopish #&*?er alone." "Thanks Joe I think!"
(BY THE WAY YEARS AGO THERE WAS A BOOK SYBIL ABOUT A YOUNG GIRL WHO HAD MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, THAT WAS BEFORE PROZAC. I THINK ALL THESE NEW FANGLED DRUGS OF TODAY WOULD MULTIPLY HER PERSONALITIES AND BECOME JUST LIKE ME WOOOOO AIN'T THAT A SCARY THOUGHT! I AM-A WARMED UP AND GOING SERIOUS ON YOU.
          Mrs. Henry was our next door neighbor when my brother and I was young. She had one child who was challenged. Old Mrs. Henry didn't seem to like me or my brother. Why, I'm not sure, young-ins never think about such things. We were too busy playing cowboy and indian. Today I might venture to say, two young boys playing outside may of struck a sour note when her only child had problems.Who knows! She was just an old witch to us.
          Well just so happens one day Mrs. Henry was talking across the fence to Mom and Dad in a seemingly unfriendly un-neighborly like manner. Well Mrs. Henry says something about us boys that my momma didn't take kindly to. 
          You have to know my momma is a mild mannered woman. Apparently old Mrs. Henry said something that made my momma's feathers bristle up. The mother hen instinct took over and she was going to peck Mrs. Henry. Ya think! Yes I do! You ain'ta going to bad mouth her boys in front of her. Well as I remember it my daddy caught my momma as she were a-startin over the fence after old Mrs. Henry. My momma was going to backslide and teach Mrs. Henry some unconventional Sunday Schoolin of her own concocting, my momma were not a-thinkin, she were-a-actin. I had plum forgotten about this escapade of my momma and something triggered my mind so I had to tell the story. (My dad's side of the family were simple folk so forgive me as I regress but I think it adds some humorous color.) I was teasing my momma about this story just the other day and told her I was going to write it she said "oh god." My momma was born in 1929 and she is still protecting her young-ins.
          THANKS FOR MOMMA'S EVERYEHERE.