NORMALLY I sit my buttocks down in me free, let me emph-ass-ize that freee! Why is that impotent? Welll now, why by when ya can sitt yer arse inna freee cher. O . . . O . . . asso . . . me monitor lizurd scream wassa freee babee, yep. Hear th midnyte riter getta aul th lefovers. How-so. Welll I rec-can I gotsa lurnn this here new fandangled shite to beafer I lurn howl too right, write, uno. I wood lik to aask a kwestion. okey, dokey, goood buds, O palls O mien. How th fukc does-sa feriners lurn Englush.
Wees hears in the staytes kan'ta speek it. Yu dont knoo what th feck Imma talkun bout, duzz ya? Say yer froom Nuu Yurk, or Mistersippe Alobama. Is they spekin Englush. OR saye . . . ar, ar, ar fryens to the nort of A . . . manyka. I getsa sum trkuc drivurs frum Kanida in, delivurin wherst I wurk. I kant undurstan dem, no sur! I's a mit hard O hearun, butt, butt, butt when I ussa me hearin aeds, I's stile kanna undurstan theem. Issa it jest mee ur whaat? Thure be peepull I wurk weth, looka to mees lika thur mauth an me hearun be outta tiem. Howso, welll I hearum about haf a secun aftur thea speek. Bea liek watchun won of theem olda blakc an whiet moovees uno, wherst the sauund, an mauth moovment bea auf.
I BEEN WORKING REAL HARD ON CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, THOUGHT I'D TAKE A BIT OF A BREAK. THE WORDS MIDNIGHT WRITER CAME TO ME FROM OUT OF THE BLUE, EITHER THAT OR ONE OF THEM SPIRIT WRITERS BE FLOATING AROUND EARTH BOUND DECIDING TO FUCK ME UP. WHAT THEY DIDN'T COUNT ON, I BEEN THAT WAY FOR A SPELL. GETTING OLDER AS IN THE BIG ALZEN=WISEN-HEIMERS DON'T HELP STRAIGHTEN WHOM I AM UP, NOW DOES IT. ANYHOW I TOYED WITH THAT WAYWARD AUTOMATIC WRITING SOUL , OR SHOULD I SAY POOR SOUL WHO FLOATED INTO GLENO'S HEAD. HAH! HAH! HAH! I SENT MR. POOR SOUL PACKING. I INFORMED HIM TO PASS THE MESSAGE "DON'T BE SENDING NO WAYWARD SPIRITS ROUND HERE NO MORE! I SEEN A FLASH OF LIGHT SHOOT FROM ME HEAD, LOOKED TO ME LIKE IT HAD A TAIL-LIGHT TUCKED UNDER HIS WHATCH-A-MA-CALL-IT.
Damn with all this work I been doing and thinking along with it, I was afraid I might lose my sense o humor. I been working on a shortened summary, of my summary, for C, AND P. (This is a wee funny of the word babble from the book, I could not help myself!)
I BELIEVE I'LL GO TO BED NOW. WON'T BE NO WAYWARD SPIRIT AROUND HERE NO MORE I FEEL SAFE THEY GOT THE MESSAGE LOUD AND CLEAR.
Automatic writing my arse! That be my loco-motive brain a belching smoke and a moving on down the line. Until next time, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite!!! Glen Boob . . . . . .
I think I burnt my spell checky thing-a-ma-bob up! It had no suggestions on all my words! I won, I broke Mr. or Mrs. Properness UP! Yippee!
You are just hilarious Glen! A friend of mine who was born and raised in New York state always talk about the different ways people speak and pronounce words. It can be so different depending on where you are that it is a wonder we can understand each other. I have a friend who is from Boston. Several years ago we were having a conversation and he tells me to hold on, he has to go get a f**k...... I'm like WHAT?? I'm not waiting on the phone while you go get a f**K. Well it turns out he was saying FORK, but it sure sounded like a four letter word to my untrained ears !!
ReplyDeleteAnd now I am trying to picture that wayward spirit with a tail light under it's whatcha ma callit.... I think if I saw something like that I would be quite frightened !
Have a great day and week dear Glen