I thought of this while meditating. My style of meditating mind ya. I best start with my meditation before I go to the BIG FINALE.
In order to achieve full potential you MUST be an old person, or you cannot truly reach the nirvana moments. You must have, many, many, LET ME MAKE THIS PERFECTLY CLEAR! If-un you ainna over half a century with arthritis, knee problems, or . . . yours truly. (That be me. Me and my buddy Uh-Klem.) ((Hey I didn't make this name up, he gave it to himself!)) ((( I don't thinka his anchor hits bottom, if-a you know what I mean!))) Anyhow we have some back problems. So if you don't a have old age fricking shit, (Oopsey!) Then you ainna gonna understand my special meditation. This here meditation is not to be tried for you youngins.
DAMN!!! I THINK, THEREFORE . . . I FORGOT. THAT BE A SENIOR MOMENT, DON'T TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT! THERE WAS A POINT I WAS GONNA MAKE, THAT'S WHY THE TITLE IS . . . I FORGOT!
My secret meditation no. no, no, no, not MEDICATION! We're already over our maximum allowance of that! This doesn't require any special positions. We couldn't do them anyway, that's why my old proven trial and error still works just fine! Warning if you have too long a commute after work you may not be able to do this, because your body will not be able to get out of your automobile, especially if you have one of them little ones made for young healthy, limber youngins.
Okay, yes! The main be point a coming, you try late at night, and old after working for the man, when you should be retired smoking weed in California and chasing little white balls around a golf course. Ya see I have to go back and reread everything I have written up until my last sentence to, to, to, [SNORING] damn it's past my bedtime.
Have I got ya pumped for the old farts of the world secret meditation that you won't find on any DVDs, or books. That's because them fools want to get rich selling ya shit! OOPS! Don't worry we old ones can get by with that. WHY? BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING OLD, YA DAMN LAME BRAIN YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPERS! Did I type that? I thought I just thought that! Ya se if I just thought that, then there would of been them what-cha-ma-call them you know ((())), hearing signs for the brain impaired, or WHATEVER!
I KNOW! I KNOW! This here title fer this post is INTERESTING, not the crap I been typing. I received the little piece, or is it post, I was gonna type before I got to typing. I got this interesting story about the word interesting while in my NIRVANA state. I hope I can remembuurr it for another post. YEAH! Like that will happen. It was good I was laughing in my nirvana moment.
DRUM ROLL PLEASE . . . . . . . [DRUMS PLAYING] . . . . . . . . . .
MY SECRET MEDITATION IS! NOW THIS SEEMS TO WORK BETTER IN COLD WEATHER. I COME STRAIGHT HOME FROM WORK, AS FAST AS MY VAN WILL GO, THROW OFF MY WORK CLOTHES, TAKE A HOT BATH, JUMP UNDER THEM COMFORTERS, AND ALLOW THE ACHES AND PAINS TO NATURALLY GO AWAY THE WAY THE WAY THERE MEANT TOO. (That's why there called comforters ya know!) ALLOW THEM POOR TIRED ACHING MUSCLES, SHIT WHOLE FRICKING BODY TO MELLOW OUT SLOOW-LY. YOU'LL EVENTUALLY REACH THAT MOMENT WHEN, AHHHHHH, THEN YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHING GOOD, FUNNY, THAT COULD SAVE THE WORLD. THEN, I SAY THEN, THE MOMENT WILL BE LOST, BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE TO PEE! NOW GETTING YOUR BODY OUT OF BED FROM THAT NIRVANA HIGH IS A KILLER! WHY??? YOU SUDDENLY REALIZE, YOUR FUCKING IN YOUR OLD BODY, GETTING OUT OF BED AIN'T PRETTY NOR FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love my morning laugh here in GlenView. I can certainly relate to the "old" part of all this. I know you are going to try to say I am not old but we both know that a couple of years does not make much difference after a certain point.
ReplyDeleteThe last paragraph was hilarious and so true.