How's everybody doing all across the world on this winter's morn? Anybody that returneth to my humble home away from home, I wish the top of the morning to ya!!! I'm so glad your here! I've been watchin' some late night television, on my free t v antenna, and 1993 R.C.A. tube type t v. Call me old fashion, cause I am.
I'm addicted . . . there, you've heard it first on Glenview! Ever since I made fun of those late night commercials I've been watching television for the commercials and channel surfing when the program comes on. I realize there's more creativity in those commercials than the programs. If these masterminds behind the commercials would create the programming, it would revolutionize (Damn that be a right fine word, don't you think") the industry. It's dying for sure!!! We need new blood, badly!!!
How so? I do not watch much regular television. Late night t v reruns of old shows still tickles my funny bone. I Dream of Jeanie, (And a I still do! Mr. Ed of course, of course, good old black and white movies, an, on and on . . .)
I for one wish them vampires that seem to be everywhere on t v should suck the blood out of the programmers, creators, or whomever, think's they are creating creativity in television.
More creativity gets created in The Super Bowl commercials than gets created all during the year.
Sure some of them are real stinkoids, the sad factoid is that some during The Super Bowl definitely created, by college graduates that are morons!!!
How the fuckoid, do them pretty boys know what we the real people like.
You see, that's my point . . .they don't!
A local new car dealership during the holidays is showing a commercial that if you buy a new car during the holidays, they'll give you a 43 inch big screen t v.
Here's the funny part, I cannot remember what kind of car their selling, but I can remember what kind of televisions their giving away! (Samsung)
Cute commercials attract my eyes. The little dog on the old Taco Bell commercials was a real riot at my house. (I'm still addicted to the place, 15 years after the little fellas last one!)
The Geico commercial with the little lizard, what is that a gecko. Woow! brother, blows me away!!!
The Christmas Budweiser commercials, I go buy cases of the stuff and hand them out to alcoholics, so that they will be happy during the holidays!!!
The mice driving the Kia Soul, a work of advertising art.
I remember Andy Griffith used to do a commercial he said, "nothing goes better on a ritz!" I have not, ever . . . been out of a ritz cracker since that day!
How about the helpful hardware commercials that used to be? "Ace is the place with the helpful hardware man!" Ah takes me back!!!
There's no such thing as a hardware store around my neighborhood, no more!!! There's tattoo and piercing shops though!!!
Poor old Mr. Rogers is gone, but never will be forgotten! What would he say now????
Ever try to find a whatch-a-ma-call-it, in todays mega stores. You go to where you think it might just be, but there's so much stuff, it boggles your mind. You can't find it. You want this one little do-dad, (That's what my momma calls something she did not know what it was!)
You find the little place where a computer sits, that's where the friendly hardware people suppose to be texting on their phones! After half an hour you realize that nobody works in that department! You find Earl, the 80 year old salesman in his scooter, that's in charge of the whole fricking, 200,000 square foot store!
He has had a stoke, but's still knowledgeable. Ya see, he use to own one of them helpful hardware stores, until this, everything under one roof, if you can find it store, came to town.
Yes Earl knows more about hardware, than all the people in all of the new hardware mega stores combined. There's talk of getting him a faster scooter!!! Damn . . . does Earl, know his hardware!!!
You have to get real close, and speak plainly, to make sure old Earl sees the do-dad clearly. Then Earl's eyes will light up, sure-nuff, he's a tell ya, where it is. There's days where customers be waitin' for the doors to open for Earl.
Earl will tell you, if you can understand him! "They want you to buy the whole kit and ka-bootle, rather that just the do-dad, ya see!"
Meaning, instead of you buying a piece for a few dollars, they want to sell you a new one, for hundred of dollars!
I THINK I HAVE FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS FELLA EARL! I MUST REVISIT HIM AGAIN, WHAT YOU SAY?
Monday, December 30, 2013
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Fun Again!
I'm finding this bloggee thing-a-ma-jig, fun again. I changed shifts, went on days and did not feel the need, for some unexplainable reason? I'm back home now, on the graveyard shift. (Justa, that mucha closer, to you know!) Quite possibly it's done me some good. There be . . . too many bosses on dayshift! (One'll, tell me one thing, another one will tell me something else, you know what, I work better doing my own thing!) I'll keep busier and do what needs a doing, yes I will!!! When a all them bosses are a bossing, well . . . things getta screwed up! (Can I say that?)
It is not my wish to imitate, nor a, be like any one else. We're 'INDIVIDUALS' . . . that's the way it should be!!! (Amen, to that brother!) I find, I have the most fun, yes I do! just a letting, it all hang out. Baby! That be me! If I'm not going to have fun with it, then I ainna, gonna, do it!
The medias are full of . . . (Please place your own word here.) I skimmy the newspaper for unusual, possibly funny items. I think we need to laugh more, rather than be a shakin' our heads in disbelief. All that head shakin', will produce, sore un-healable aches and pains. I be a suffering rights now, from over 60 years of that head shakin' shit! Um, huh! I don't a, need a . . . no . . . more!!! We needs a change don't we?
I use-ta, always, read the news, while a watchin', the "booby tooby." evening news. Was I a glutton for punishment, er what? Yes, I was!!!
Not that many years ago, there was an attempt to make it seem tasteful. Anchormen and Anchorwoman, suits and non shapely wardrobe. The weather men, had nary a clue about the weather! Predictions, most likely, a woman with a crystal ball in the backroom.
I never understood, why they had another Sports person, just to read the sports? Was the two main anchors, overworked? This also goes for the weatherman. (Oopsey! I best be politically correct, weather person.)
I bet ya, if you made the two anchors take a test after reading the news, they'd flunk!
Some wise, uppity management level type thought "lets let Mary Jane Marie do the weather this weekend." She be a chesty, curvy blonde, ya see. Them couch tater tot type men's eyes got bigger than their??? The switchboard was overloaded with calls from these, tater tot-uns. Ratings skyrocketed, advertising for the weather segment, started raining $, "we're in the money!" Then competitors started getting in on the . . .?????? (I don't have the correct Glenview word at this moment!!!)
The 24 hour a day news stations, birthed a new generation of instantaneous news junkies. Let's place, blondes, redheads, dark haired, blue eyed, green eyed, brown eyed, dark skinned, we'll represent the world's women, and them men will watch. A do it, they'll come watch, programming! (And so it come to past. Did the men get any smarter? If course not! They ainna remembering the news it be THE WOMAN!!! )
The gimmicky world of advertising. Do you go to college to learn advertising? Hell we know here in Hillbilly Hills, that if we place a 16 year old in short shorts, and have her act like, she be bent over the hood of a car, we can sell a Yugo!!! The 16 year old may have the face that'd stop a clock, but at Ray Earl's Auto Sales he sets sales records every month. One day he paid the mostus, curvaceous, cheerleader in a bikini, Susie Maybelline, she shined and sold every car on the lot by noon. Rednecks across the county started selling their rides, just to get a picture of Susie Maybelline, beside their pick ups. She received $100.00 per vehicle. Word was going around after that day she were in the money!!! Ya know what I mean. She became famous that day, and placed a down payment on a house right beside Ray Earls Auto Sales. She was the most photographed model ever . . . in the county. No, no, no! It was not a house of ill repute. All you had to do was bring yer Harleys, pick-ups, bicycles, horses, whatever you rode, and she'd pose in the outfit of your choosing. Ray Earl gave away a free photo session with Susie Maybelline, with every purchase.
I FELL OFF MY ROCKER AGAIN, HERE AT THE OLD FOLKS RETIREMENT/ RETARDED HOME. THEY'S ARE, SUPPOSIN' TO BUCKLE ME IN, BUT SUSIE MAYBELLINE WALKED BY, AND MY SEAT BET UNBUCKLED, FROM THE FORCE BEING APPLIED UPWARDS!!! AH, HA, HA, HA, I BE A MAKIN A JOKE, TIS MY HOPE, YA GOT IT!
One of my friends here at . . . GLENVIEW wrote in and said "he likes my malarkey!" I be so proud!
Then I thought , "I've heard that word afore!" Then I thought a day or so later, (I usually don't get too many thoughts clumped together, because I'll get a headache!)
MALARKEY, I like that word, I think it sums up right nicely for whatever it is, I do!
Lark is a bird.
I love my Ma!
You lock things up with a lock and you's, got to have a key, to open it.
Malar is a type of balloon skin, or is that mylar? Close enough here on Glenview!
Arkey is the big boat that all them animals rode out the big flood in!
The key to Glenview is, fill a mylar balloon with hot air, then go see my Ma, then me and my animals on my a boat and have some fuun!!! Or there 'bouts!!!
LAUGHTER, MAY NOT BE THE BEST MEDICINE, BUT IT SURE HELPS A LOT!!!!
Goodnight my friends from around the world! Maybe I'll look up that word malarkey.
MALARKEY = meaningless, or deliberately misleading talk; nonsense! Do I do that!!! DANG, I SHOULD A, BEEN A, POLLUTERTICIAN, AND I COULD A, BECOME A, A MILLIONAIRE, INSTEAD OF AN OLD POOR BOY!
Another thought just crossed my cranium! (I KNOW ITS BEEN A GOOD DAY! )
I use to watch the Harlem Globetrotters on The Wonderful World of Sports. (Is that still on?) There was a player called Malarkey Lemonade, (Hey I don't make this stuff up. I just write is as my cranium thing, thinks it!!!)
Joe Pesky speaks, (One of my inner voices, you know!) You nincapoop! That was Meadowlark Lemon!
I APOLIGIZE TO MY VERY FEW READERS OUT THERE. I GOT TO BE ME, I GOTTA BE ME, AND A, I'MMA, GONNA, STAY ME IF UN YA DON'T MIND? CAUSIN, IF I'SA HAVIN' FUN FER JUST A LITLE WHILE, AFORE I GO TO BED, I'S SLEEP FULL OF WONDERMENT, SO'S I'S CAN DO THIS BLOGGEE THINGEE AGAINEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, all you ones learnin' English shoulda read Glenview. WHY???
Old Glen here will tell you the truth. We here don'ta knowsa, what proper English is!
I'll give ya REAL, reality writing, afore all them editors fucks it up!!!!!!! That be enuff, fer ta-night.
Ohh, one uther thing. What I like a, the bestus, is playing with a wurd, and a seeing where my cranium takes it, soo If un, y'all out there, wanna me to fucks up a wurd fers ya, just send me a comment here on GLENVIEW. (oh!oh!oh!, don't ferget THE WURD!)
Ohh! One uther thing, it may take me a fuw days, 'cause, I has ta, thinks upon it! Actually I sleeps upon it and bingo!!!
OH!,OH!,OH! I 'VE BEEN WORKING ON, OR THINKING ABOUT, THIS SHOW ON A and E CALLED DUCK DYNASTY. AT THIS MOMENT, I DIDN'T KNOW, NOR UNERSTAND, NOR NEVER, KNEW IT WAS A SHOW, THAT'S IN ITS FOURTH SEASON. SO I'LL BE DOING SOME RESEARCH ON IT!!!!!
RESEARCH MESEARCH! THAT'S A FIRST HERE ON GLENVIEW. NO A TELLIN' WHERE THAT'S GOING TO GO, SO PLEEAASSEE STAY TUNE, FOR GLENVIEW'S VIEW, ON DUCK DYANASTY! THAT SHOULD A, BE A, GOOD UR, UN!
Ammm , , , I done?
It is not my wish to imitate, nor a, be like any one else. We're 'INDIVIDUALS' . . . that's the way it should be!!! (Amen, to that brother!) I find, I have the most fun, yes I do! just a letting, it all hang out. Baby! That be me! If I'm not going to have fun with it, then I ainna, gonna, do it!
The medias are full of . . . (Please place your own word here.) I skimmy the newspaper for unusual, possibly funny items. I think we need to laugh more, rather than be a shakin' our heads in disbelief. All that head shakin', will produce, sore un-healable aches and pains. I be a suffering rights now, from over 60 years of that head shakin' shit! Um, huh! I don't a, need a . . . no . . . more!!! We needs a change don't we?
I use-ta, always, read the news, while a watchin', the "booby tooby." evening news. Was I a glutton for punishment, er what? Yes, I was!!!
Not that many years ago, there was an attempt to make it seem tasteful. Anchormen and Anchorwoman, suits and non shapely wardrobe. The weather men, had nary a clue about the weather! Predictions, most likely, a woman with a crystal ball in the backroom.
I never understood, why they had another Sports person, just to read the sports? Was the two main anchors, overworked? This also goes for the weatherman. (Oopsey! I best be politically correct, weather person.)
I bet ya, if you made the two anchors take a test after reading the news, they'd flunk!
Some wise, uppity management level type thought "lets let Mary Jane Marie do the weather this weekend." She be a chesty, curvy blonde, ya see. Them couch tater tot type men's eyes got bigger than their??? The switchboard was overloaded with calls from these, tater tot-uns. Ratings skyrocketed, advertising for the weather segment, started raining $, "we're in the money!" Then competitors started getting in on the . . .?????? (I don't have the correct Glenview word at this moment!!!)
The 24 hour a day news stations, birthed a new generation of instantaneous news junkies. Let's place, blondes, redheads, dark haired, blue eyed, green eyed, brown eyed, dark skinned, we'll represent the world's women, and them men will watch. A do it, they'll come watch, programming! (And so it come to past. Did the men get any smarter? If course not! They ainna remembering the news it be THE WOMAN!!! )
The gimmicky world of advertising. Do you go to college to learn advertising? Hell we know here in Hillbilly Hills, that if we place a 16 year old in short shorts, and have her act like, she be bent over the hood of a car, we can sell a Yugo!!! The 16 year old may have the face that'd stop a clock, but at Ray Earl's Auto Sales he sets sales records every month. One day he paid the mostus, curvaceous, cheerleader in a bikini, Susie Maybelline, she shined and sold every car on the lot by noon. Rednecks across the county started selling their rides, just to get a picture of Susie Maybelline, beside their pick ups. She received $100.00 per vehicle. Word was going around after that day she were in the money!!! Ya know what I mean. She became famous that day, and placed a down payment on a house right beside Ray Earls Auto Sales. She was the most photographed model ever . . . in the county. No, no, no! It was not a house of ill repute. All you had to do was bring yer Harleys, pick-ups, bicycles, horses, whatever you rode, and she'd pose in the outfit of your choosing. Ray Earl gave away a free photo session with Susie Maybelline, with every purchase.
I FELL OFF MY ROCKER AGAIN, HERE AT THE OLD FOLKS RETIREMENT/ RETARDED HOME. THEY'S ARE, SUPPOSIN' TO BUCKLE ME IN, BUT SUSIE MAYBELLINE WALKED BY, AND MY SEAT BET UNBUCKLED, FROM THE FORCE BEING APPLIED UPWARDS!!! AH, HA, HA, HA, I BE A MAKIN A JOKE, TIS MY HOPE, YA GOT IT!
One of my friends here at . . . GLENVIEW wrote in and said "he likes my malarkey!" I be so proud!
Then I thought , "I've heard that word afore!" Then I thought a day or so later, (I usually don't get too many thoughts clumped together, because I'll get a headache!)
MALARKEY, I like that word, I think it sums up right nicely for whatever it is, I do!
Lark is a bird.
I love my Ma!
You lock things up with a lock and you's, got to have a key, to open it.
Malar is a type of balloon skin, or is that mylar? Close enough here on Glenview!
Arkey is the big boat that all them animals rode out the big flood in!
The key to Glenview is, fill a mylar balloon with hot air, then go see my Ma, then me and my animals on my a boat and have some fuun!!! Or there 'bouts!!!
LAUGHTER, MAY NOT BE THE BEST MEDICINE, BUT IT SURE HELPS A LOT!!!!
Goodnight my friends from around the world! Maybe I'll look up that word malarkey.
MALARKEY = meaningless, or deliberately misleading talk; nonsense! Do I do that!!! DANG, I SHOULD A, BEEN A, POLLUTERTICIAN, AND I COULD A, BECOME A, A MILLIONAIRE, INSTEAD OF AN OLD POOR BOY!
Another thought just crossed my cranium! (I KNOW ITS BEEN A GOOD DAY! )
I use to watch the Harlem Globetrotters on The Wonderful World of Sports. (Is that still on?) There was a player called Malarkey Lemonade, (Hey I don't make this stuff up. I just write is as my cranium thing, thinks it!!!)
Joe Pesky speaks, (One of my inner voices, you know!) You nincapoop! That was Meadowlark Lemon!
I APOLIGIZE TO MY VERY FEW READERS OUT THERE. I GOT TO BE ME, I GOTTA BE ME, AND A, I'MMA, GONNA, STAY ME IF UN YA DON'T MIND? CAUSIN, IF I'SA HAVIN' FUN FER JUST A LITLE WHILE, AFORE I GO TO BED, I'S SLEEP FULL OF WONDERMENT, SO'S I'S CAN DO THIS BLOGGEE THINGEE AGAINEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, all you ones learnin' English shoulda read Glenview. WHY???
Old Glen here will tell you the truth. We here don'ta knowsa, what proper English is!
I'll give ya REAL, reality writing, afore all them editors fucks it up!!!!!!! That be enuff, fer ta-night.
Ohh, one uther thing. What I like a, the bestus, is playing with a wurd, and a seeing where my cranium takes it, soo If un, y'all out there, wanna me to fucks up a wurd fers ya, just send me a comment here on GLENVIEW. (oh!oh!oh!, don't ferget THE WURD!)
Ohh! One uther thing, it may take me a fuw days, 'cause, I has ta, thinks upon it! Actually I sleeps upon it and bingo!!!
OH!,OH!,OH! I 'VE BEEN WORKING ON, OR THINKING ABOUT, THIS SHOW ON A and E CALLED DUCK DYNASTY. AT THIS MOMENT, I DIDN'T KNOW, NOR UNERSTAND, NOR NEVER, KNEW IT WAS A SHOW, THAT'S IN ITS FOURTH SEASON. SO I'LL BE DOING SOME RESEARCH ON IT!!!!!
RESEARCH MESEARCH! THAT'S A FIRST HERE ON GLENVIEW. NO A TELLIN' WHERE THAT'S GOING TO GO, SO PLEEAASSEE STAY TUNE, FOR GLENVIEW'S VIEW, ON DUCK DYANASTY! THAT SHOULD A, BE A, GOOD UR, UN!
Ammm , , , I done?
Friday, December 27, 2013
The Flow or, I Think My Catalytic Converter is Going Bad!!!!
You've heard that ol' saying, "it's best to go with the flow!"
Soo, what is them few words telling us?
Imagine you're in a canoe, leisurely flowing with the current. Ahh, don't that make you feel nice
and soothing, thinking about that? Place that picture in your mind, take some deep breaths, in slowly, out slowly. Oh, baby. I like it. This going with the flow is real nice, is it not?
( Is it not . . . what kind of knuckle headed words, be a comin', out of my mind? Reckon, I took one . . . too many, deep, relaxing breaths! Let's imagine . . . is it not . . . the same as ain't?
Yeah . . .taking too many, deep breaths can screw with yer head, and I don't need nothin' . . . a screwing with my head! )
Hold yer darn horses . . . Would that not be, going with the flow? Relaxing, meditative, deep breathing . . . oh my God! I've hit upon a miracle! If I get upset, all I have to do, is sit down on the floor, cross my legs in Indian fashion, breathe deeply, and smoke a peace pipe.
I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU OUT THERE IN INTERNET LAND. "What is in the peace pipe?"
It's a peace pipe, so . . . what's the opposite of peace?
I reckon, I'll answer my own question, otherwise . . . there'll be, a blank space on my screen, where y'all, didn't answer. That actually makes sense, yep . . . definitely, too many deep breaths. I'll have to find a different way of meditating, although it does calm me down and makes me think most unusual. You know the only thing I got . . . that I can call mine, is . . . me . . . being me!
I know, I know, I'll drink a six-pack of beer! That'll calm me down. The only thing about that is . . . that much beer in an old fart like me, makes me, have to pee . . . a lot! ( Sad but true, everything affects you when you get older. I know, I'll buy me one of them lap top computers, so as I can still communicate with ya, as I, never mind, you get the picture. Good thing I don't use visuals here on Glenview, ain't it!
I forgot what the question was, that you out there can't answer, to which, I was going to answer, because I drank too much beer and had to pee!
( Please hold, I have to go pee and have the ridiculous urge to take my computer with me, man where did that moronic idea come from. I do feel intoxicated and I'm drinking cool . . . clean . . . mountain water from a glacier. I'm either intoxicated OR friggin nuts, you make the call? )
OKAY, BACK TO, "GOING WITH THE FLOW." WHY CAN'T I? SEEMS BETTER ON ME MENTALLY, TO BE LIKE EVERYBODY, MOST ALL, AT WORK, DO A LITTLE WORK, ( very little, take the money and run, kind a thing you know! ) BUT NOO, I HAVE TO THINK, REASON, SPEAK! I MAY BE FLUSTERED WITH THINGS, BUT IT'S WHEN I SPEAK. DAMN IT! WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT? OH, I'VE JUST THOUGHT OF ANOTHER OLD SAYING.
"IT'S BETTER TO KEEP QUIET, THAN TO SPEAK AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT!"
MY NEW SAYING, "IT'S BETTER TO KEEP QUIET, THAN TO SPEAK AND MAKE WAVES?"
So, I'll examine these words in my own way. ((( Oh shit!!! )))
"I see now" said the blind man.
IF YOU'RE ROWING UPSTREM AGAINST THE CURRENT, IT'S SOO MUCH HARDER.
SO WHY NOT SPEAK YOUR PIECE, AND BE SMACKED DOWN TO EARTH, AGAINST THE BOULDERS, FROM WHERE THE CURRENT HAS TAKEN YOU OVER, THE FRICKING FALLS!!! THAT'S WHERE WE'RE A HEADED ANYWAY, AIN'T IT?
Oh shite!!! I hope nobody reads this! IT SURE WAS FUN THINKING IT! DID I DREAM THIS, OR DID I TYPE THIS? WHO KNOWS . . . HERE ON GLENVIEW, AH,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA!
Soo, what is them few words telling us?
Imagine you're in a canoe, leisurely flowing with the current. Ahh, don't that make you feel nice
and soothing, thinking about that? Place that picture in your mind, take some deep breaths, in slowly, out slowly. Oh, baby. I like it. This going with the flow is real nice, is it not?
( Is it not . . . what kind of knuckle headed words, be a comin', out of my mind? Reckon, I took one . . . too many, deep, relaxing breaths! Let's imagine . . . is it not . . . the same as ain't?
Yeah . . .taking too many, deep breaths can screw with yer head, and I don't need nothin' . . . a screwing with my head! )
Hold yer darn horses . . . Would that not be, going with the flow? Relaxing, meditative, deep breathing . . . oh my God! I've hit upon a miracle! If I get upset, all I have to do, is sit down on the floor, cross my legs in Indian fashion, breathe deeply, and smoke a peace pipe.
I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU OUT THERE IN INTERNET LAND. "What is in the peace pipe?"
It's a peace pipe, so . . . what's the opposite of peace?
I reckon, I'll answer my own question, otherwise . . . there'll be, a blank space on my screen, where y'all, didn't answer. That actually makes sense, yep . . . definitely, too many deep breaths. I'll have to find a different way of meditating, although it does calm me down and makes me think most unusual. You know the only thing I got . . . that I can call mine, is . . . me . . . being me!
I know, I know, I'll drink a six-pack of beer! That'll calm me down. The only thing about that is . . . that much beer in an old fart like me, makes me, have to pee . . . a lot! ( Sad but true, everything affects you when you get older. I know, I'll buy me one of them lap top computers, so as I can still communicate with ya, as I, never mind, you get the picture. Good thing I don't use visuals here on Glenview, ain't it!
I forgot what the question was, that you out there can't answer, to which, I was going to answer, because I drank too much beer and had to pee!
( Please hold, I have to go pee and have the ridiculous urge to take my computer with me, man where did that moronic idea come from. I do feel intoxicated and I'm drinking cool . . . clean . . . mountain water from a glacier. I'm either intoxicated OR friggin nuts, you make the call? )
OKAY, BACK TO, "GOING WITH THE FLOW." WHY CAN'T I? SEEMS BETTER ON ME MENTALLY, TO BE LIKE EVERYBODY, MOST ALL, AT WORK, DO A LITTLE WORK, ( very little, take the money and run, kind a thing you know! ) BUT NOO, I HAVE TO THINK, REASON, SPEAK! I MAY BE FLUSTERED WITH THINGS, BUT IT'S WHEN I SPEAK. DAMN IT! WHY CAN'T I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT? OH, I'VE JUST THOUGHT OF ANOTHER OLD SAYING.
"IT'S BETTER TO KEEP QUIET, THAN TO SPEAK AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT!"
MY NEW SAYING, "IT'S BETTER TO KEEP QUIET, THAN TO SPEAK AND MAKE WAVES?"
So, I'll examine these words in my own way. ((( Oh shit!!! )))
"I see now" said the blind man.
IF YOU'RE ROWING UPSTREM AGAINST THE CURRENT, IT'S SOO MUCH HARDER.
SO WHY NOT SPEAK YOUR PIECE, AND BE SMACKED DOWN TO EARTH, AGAINST THE BOULDERS, FROM WHERE THE CURRENT HAS TAKEN YOU OVER, THE FRICKING FALLS!!! THAT'S WHERE WE'RE A HEADED ANYWAY, AIN'T IT?
Oh shite!!! I hope nobody reads this! IT SURE WAS FUN THINKING IT! DID I DREAM THIS, OR DID I TYPE THIS? WHO KNOWS . . . HERE ON GLENVIEW, AH,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA,HA!
Thursday, December 26, 2013
I Can't Shake This Feeling!!!
I can't shake this feeling that time has passed me by! More and more it appears. Apparently, I'm an old truck that has carried many a load admirably in its day.
The engine still purrs, transmission slips sometimes, rear end's a mite bigger. Still, I can head on down the highway. Can't carry as big a load, as I once could. Headlights still burn bright and true. Windshield wipers, go swoosh, swoosh, instead of swish, swish really fast. Don't have all them fancy gizmos, gadgets and such. When I don't know where I've been, or where I'm going, and have to depend on one of them new fangled screen thing a ma bobs, that bounce a satellite signal to show my location. Lord have mercy! If un, you don't knows, where yee be, then yee shouldn't be out in the highway of life, no how! No sir! Watered down petrol, makes me sluggish sometimes. Usta have good stuff, that would make me go yee-haw! and getta on down the road. Made me feel soo good!
Frames a mite loose, rusty, shimmys and shakes, I can't run 70 MPH no more. HELL who wants too!!! Either I need new glasses, or them automobiles ur getting smaller. Seen me one of them smart cars one day, weren't too damn smart. When I be younger and could run like the wind, I woulda blew that tadpole off the highway, or let me a backfire, you know like a fart, and scare that tiny critter into the woods, under some branches, yes I woulda! Time passes, I've slowed down. Some days the rusting and loosening of me joints, why do I bother! I'll just pull myself out into the barn facing south so's the suns's rays, can warm me old tired paint a thinnin' body. My bodies dinged and danged, bruised from life, still showing my original paint, worn to primer in some spots. Yes, I think 'bout retirement, just sitting inside the barn watching the seasons come and go. The springtime I'd miss the most, being out and about, seeing them newborn critters, puts a temporary gusto of life in me for a mile or two, yes it does!. Warms the cockles of my heart, I reckon that be my carburetor. My heart/carburetor, been rebuilt several times. New pump. new gaskets and such, simple compared to today's fuel injection, turbo charged what nots! I dream sometimes 'bout what I would feel like with a fuel injected, turbo on top of my engine. I could getta on down the interstate of life then, whew-doggie!!! When I return back to earth I'd laugh. It'd blow the gizzards right outta my engine, There'd be engine and transmission parts scattered all across the highway, fer a spell. yes there
would! There be so many trucks running the highway today, I can't pronounce their names. Foreign ones, have taken over. I like to blow smoke on them at the truck stops. Sheesh, I can't catch them, lessen their stopped. I suppose everything turns to rust and disintegrates, don't it? It's been a good run.
I've fathered many a truckeroos, and lost touch with them. Technology challenged, is what I have been called. Yes, that's true, I proudly admit it! There be so much computer shit on these new youngins of a truck, when they go down, they don't use mechanics, they need boys in white coveralls and an army of technicians to revive em! These youngins of today just want us to step aside, retire, get us grandpa's off the road.
WELLL OL' GRANDPA, GOTS A THING, ER TWO, TO SAY, TO YOU YOUNGINS!
YER TIME, A BE HERE, AFORE YOU KNOW IT! BURNING THAT LIGHTNING FUEL IN YER TANKS, BE A RUSTING YA, FROM THE INSIDE OUT! I SEE MANY A NEW UNS ALREADY IN THE JUNKYARD, WHERE THE LIFE, A BEING SUCKED OUT OF THEM, ONE PART AT A TIME. THEM ONCE PURTY, SMILING HOODS, BE A FROWNING, FROM BURNING THEM ALL NIGHTERS, WITH NO REST. I RECKON I'LL SEE YA, IN THE BIG JUNKYARD IN THE SKY, ERRR, MAYBE NOT! YEE MAY NOT BE THERE! YEE MAY BE SOMEWHERE'S ELSE!!!
signed..... I'MMA STILL TRUCKIN!!!!!!!
The engine still purrs, transmission slips sometimes, rear end's a mite bigger. Still, I can head on down the highway. Can't carry as big a load, as I once could. Headlights still burn bright and true. Windshield wipers, go swoosh, swoosh, instead of swish, swish really fast. Don't have all them fancy gizmos, gadgets and such. When I don't know where I've been, or where I'm going, and have to depend on one of them new fangled screen thing a ma bobs, that bounce a satellite signal to show my location. Lord have mercy! If un, you don't knows, where yee be, then yee shouldn't be out in the highway of life, no how! No sir! Watered down petrol, makes me sluggish sometimes. Usta have good stuff, that would make me go yee-haw! and getta on down the road. Made me feel soo good!
Frames a mite loose, rusty, shimmys and shakes, I can't run 70 MPH no more. HELL who wants too!!! Either I need new glasses, or them automobiles ur getting smaller. Seen me one of them smart cars one day, weren't too damn smart. When I be younger and could run like the wind, I woulda blew that tadpole off the highway, or let me a backfire, you know like a fart, and scare that tiny critter into the woods, under some branches, yes I woulda! Time passes, I've slowed down. Some days the rusting and loosening of me joints, why do I bother! I'll just pull myself out into the barn facing south so's the suns's rays, can warm me old tired paint a thinnin' body. My bodies dinged and danged, bruised from life, still showing my original paint, worn to primer in some spots. Yes, I think 'bout retirement, just sitting inside the barn watching the seasons come and go. The springtime I'd miss the most, being out and about, seeing them newborn critters, puts a temporary gusto of life in me for a mile or two, yes it does!. Warms the cockles of my heart, I reckon that be my carburetor. My heart/carburetor, been rebuilt several times. New pump. new gaskets and such, simple compared to today's fuel injection, turbo charged what nots! I dream sometimes 'bout what I would feel like with a fuel injected, turbo on top of my engine. I could getta on down the interstate of life then, whew-doggie!!! When I return back to earth I'd laugh. It'd blow the gizzards right outta my engine, There'd be engine and transmission parts scattered all across the highway, fer a spell. yes there
would! There be so many trucks running the highway today, I can't pronounce their names. Foreign ones, have taken over. I like to blow smoke on them at the truck stops. Sheesh, I can't catch them, lessen their stopped. I suppose everything turns to rust and disintegrates, don't it? It's been a good run.
I've fathered many a truckeroos, and lost touch with them. Technology challenged, is what I have been called. Yes, that's true, I proudly admit it! There be so much computer shit on these new youngins of a truck, when they go down, they don't use mechanics, they need boys in white coveralls and an army of technicians to revive em! These youngins of today just want us to step aside, retire, get us grandpa's off the road.
WELLL OL' GRANDPA, GOTS A THING, ER TWO, TO SAY, TO YOU YOUNGINS!
YER TIME, A BE HERE, AFORE YOU KNOW IT! BURNING THAT LIGHTNING FUEL IN YER TANKS, BE A RUSTING YA, FROM THE INSIDE OUT! I SEE MANY A NEW UNS ALREADY IN THE JUNKYARD, WHERE THE LIFE, A BEING SUCKED OUT OF THEM, ONE PART AT A TIME. THEM ONCE PURTY, SMILING HOODS, BE A FROWNING, FROM BURNING THEM ALL NIGHTERS, WITH NO REST. I RECKON I'LL SEE YA, IN THE BIG JUNKYARD IN THE SKY, ERRR, MAYBE NOT! YEE MAY NOT BE THERE! YEE MAY BE SOMEWHERE'S ELSE!!!
signed..... I'MMA STILL TRUCKIN!!!!!!!
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
The Big Snow!
I come home tired and ragged, in the early morn of, Christmas Eve. A lifetime of, just thinking, "it's Christmas Eve," somehow sounds, wonderful!!!
My raggedy ass, revives, as I walk through the door of my humble home. I truly mean that, and most certainly, I feel it, 'cause it's 17 degrees, with a stout north wind . . . brrrrr!
For the last two weeks, north of the Ohio River has been, u-n-b-e-l-i-e-v-a-b-l-e! As I write this 5 inches of rain cause flooding nightmares. Luckily I'm not in one of them! If that was snow, it would be 60 inches.
My Yorkie, would have one hell of a time in that much snow. doing, his business, hey? I suppose I could hold him up high, and tell him "to let 'er fly!" ( I'm laughing as I type that! )
10 years ago we received 30 inches of snow on Christmas, eve's, eve. Lord have mercy, that's a lot o snow! Yes it is!
I'll just tell that story
. The Big Snow!
Glen goes to work at 9 p m on a Thursday of 2003, it was Christmas eve's, eve.
The weather service says, "folks a big-un . . . is here, expect 2 to 3 feet of snow."
I'm thinkin' "yeah sure!" I remember back when the big blizzard of 78 hit. Them dumb asses didn't even predict it. I come home from working the dayshift and take a nap.
A couple hours later my wife calls, "come and get me, I'm in the I. G. A. parking lot, I can't go any farther!"
I'm half asleep, I said "huh!?" I look out the window "holy mackerel! I'll be there in a few minutes."
I'm getting a mite off track, imagine that! Over several days we receive about 30 inches of snow with high winds, and un passable snowdrifts. It was a week before I could go to work. Cold like -25, worst ever around these parts in the Midwest. This snow stayed until April. The cold along with more snow, never warmed up enough to melt.
Before I go to work I watch the weather channel, the state police have closed the interstate. Meaning, if your out, they can take you to jail! I was suppose to make a delivery about 60 miles south, it was even worse, there. I'm not going to be able to make that delivery!
I get to work and my boss says, "I need you to make that delivery."
"WHAT!!!" was my answer!
"Have you looked out the door, or heard the latest weather forecast? The state police have closed the interstate! The only other time the interstate was closed was during the blizzard of 78! Are you serious!?"
He said "yes! That delivery has to be made!"
I said "well you're going to have to find someone else, because I'm not risking my life for this delivery!"
That shows to you how smart, people, are! Some workers try to make it home, but have to return, impossible! Several of us are stuck there, a couple days. I spent a lot of time running the snow blower When I went back inside, I looked like a real walking snowman, my beard was covered in ice, from the blowing snow and my breath. Snow was piled high on top of my stocking cap. Quite honestly, I had fun with it. A once in a lifetime kinda thing. The kid inside of me popped out! I still remember that very clearly.
It's 12 hours later, a few people with 4 wheel drive make it to work, it's now Christmas Eve. There was some work that must be done, even with this skeleton crew. Them smart bosses decide . . . "we can do it!" ( Yeah! one of them bosses was one that wanted me to make an impossible run the night before!! ) The big/main boss made it in, and tells me, I was right! (Under no circumstance should I have attempted such a dumb thing!)
After working about 30 hours straight, playing around with that snow blowing S. O. B. from hell and completing the needed production, I go home. The snow plows have been through, and with a load of snow in back of my Ranger, I was at my driveway. I could not get in my driveway. No way, no how! Them big ass snow plows, have plowed so much snow in front of my drive, it was up to my ass!
I said "the hell with this f@#$ing-shit! I'll crawl, if I have to, the 300 feet to my house!"
'Bout then . . . a good ol' boy, in a 4 wheel drive Suburban, stops to see if he could help me. It's after 12 midnight Christmas day. I'm stuck in plowed white shit. I can't go any where, but at least, I'm close to home!
He says "I'll pull you out, and plow your drive."
My inner thoughts at that moment, I can still recall . . ."Hallelujah . . . hallelujah . . . hallelujah!!!"
I did not ask the price. It was one of them times in your lifetime it did not seem . . . relevant!
He said, "my boy's in that 4 wheel Dodge truck behind me, I'll have him hook a chain to your pickup and pull you out. You get in here with me and show me where to grade."
DAMN! That be the toastiest, warmest, Suburban, I ever . . . sit my tired ol' ass in!
About a half hour later, I'm sitting beside my garage, just 30 feet from my house. I'm almost home!
I say, "how much do I owe you?"
He says, "$100.00, I look inside my billfold, I have $80.00.
I told him, "I'll go inside and write you a check."
"Nah, that's good enough."
I trudge the thirty feet thinkin,"Damn, I wish I had that snow blower!?
A gigantic snow drift was midway up the door, no shovel, er nothin' around.
I began clearing snow with my boots and finally the door was free!
I get inside and there be the prettiest sight, I ever did see. My wife and puppies all toasty and snug in my humble home.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!!!
I sit down in my lazy boy. DAMN! "THERE AIN'T NO PLACE LIKE HOME!"
Dorothy's words rang clear! (You know from the Wizard of Oz! )
I look out the window on Christmas morn. Have Mercy!!! Snow up high on my door!
Then I remember, that snow throwing monster sitting, inside at work, all cozy like! I live 2 miles away and since I made it home last night, and have the drive dug out, why not? The dog can't even go outside! He'll get lost in a drift and I'll not find him till spring! Well, I did what any smart man would do I drove over and loaded that snow throwing S . O. B. and had a very Merry Christmas!!!
My raggedy ass, revives, as I walk through the door of my humble home. I truly mean that, and most certainly, I feel it, 'cause it's 17 degrees, with a stout north wind . . . brrrrr!
For the last two weeks, north of the Ohio River has been, u-n-b-e-l-i-e-v-a-b-l-e! As I write this 5 inches of rain cause flooding nightmares. Luckily I'm not in one of them! If that was snow, it would be 60 inches.
My Yorkie, would have one hell of a time in that much snow. doing, his business, hey? I suppose I could hold him up high, and tell him "to let 'er fly!" ( I'm laughing as I type that! )
10 years ago we received 30 inches of snow on Christmas, eve's, eve. Lord have mercy, that's a lot o snow! Yes it is!
I'll just tell that story
. The Big Snow!
Glen goes to work at 9 p m on a Thursday of 2003, it was Christmas eve's, eve.
The weather service says, "folks a big-un . . . is here, expect 2 to 3 feet of snow."
I'm thinkin' "yeah sure!" I remember back when the big blizzard of 78 hit. Them dumb asses didn't even predict it. I come home from working the dayshift and take a nap.
A couple hours later my wife calls, "come and get me, I'm in the I. G. A. parking lot, I can't go any farther!"
I'm half asleep, I said "huh!?" I look out the window "holy mackerel! I'll be there in a few minutes."
I'm getting a mite off track, imagine that! Over several days we receive about 30 inches of snow with high winds, and un passable snowdrifts. It was a week before I could go to work. Cold like -25, worst ever around these parts in the Midwest. This snow stayed until April. The cold along with more snow, never warmed up enough to melt.
Before I go to work I watch the weather channel, the state police have closed the interstate. Meaning, if your out, they can take you to jail! I was suppose to make a delivery about 60 miles south, it was even worse, there. I'm not going to be able to make that delivery!
I get to work and my boss says, "I need you to make that delivery."
"WHAT!!!" was my answer!
"Have you looked out the door, or heard the latest weather forecast? The state police have closed the interstate! The only other time the interstate was closed was during the blizzard of 78! Are you serious!?"
He said "yes! That delivery has to be made!"
I said "well you're going to have to find someone else, because I'm not risking my life for this delivery!"
That shows to you how smart, people, are! Some workers try to make it home, but have to return, impossible! Several of us are stuck there, a couple days. I spent a lot of time running the snow blower When I went back inside, I looked like a real walking snowman, my beard was covered in ice, from the blowing snow and my breath. Snow was piled high on top of my stocking cap. Quite honestly, I had fun with it. A once in a lifetime kinda thing. The kid inside of me popped out! I still remember that very clearly.
It's 12 hours later, a few people with 4 wheel drive make it to work, it's now Christmas Eve. There was some work that must be done, even with this skeleton crew. Them smart bosses decide . . . "we can do it!" ( Yeah! one of them bosses was one that wanted me to make an impossible run the night before!! ) The big/main boss made it in, and tells me, I was right! (Under no circumstance should I have attempted such a dumb thing!)
After working about 30 hours straight, playing around with that snow blowing S. O. B. from hell and completing the needed production, I go home. The snow plows have been through, and with a load of snow in back of my Ranger, I was at my driveway. I could not get in my driveway. No way, no how! Them big ass snow plows, have plowed so much snow in front of my drive, it was up to my ass!
I said "the hell with this f@#$ing-shit! I'll crawl, if I have to, the 300 feet to my house!"
'Bout then . . . a good ol' boy, in a 4 wheel drive Suburban, stops to see if he could help me. It's after 12 midnight Christmas day. I'm stuck in plowed white shit. I can't go any where, but at least, I'm close to home!
He says "I'll pull you out, and plow your drive."
My inner thoughts at that moment, I can still recall . . ."Hallelujah . . . hallelujah . . . hallelujah!!!"
I did not ask the price. It was one of them times in your lifetime it did not seem . . . relevant!
He said, "my boy's in that 4 wheel Dodge truck behind me, I'll have him hook a chain to your pickup and pull you out. You get in here with me and show me where to grade."
DAMN! That be the toastiest, warmest, Suburban, I ever . . . sit my tired ol' ass in!
About a half hour later, I'm sitting beside my garage, just 30 feet from my house. I'm almost home!
I say, "how much do I owe you?"
He says, "$100.00, I look inside my billfold, I have $80.00.
I told him, "I'll go inside and write you a check."
"Nah, that's good enough."
I trudge the thirty feet thinkin,"Damn, I wish I had that snow blower!?
A gigantic snow drift was midway up the door, no shovel, er nothin' around.
I began clearing snow with my boots and finally the door was free!
I get inside and there be the prettiest sight, I ever did see. My wife and puppies all toasty and snug in my humble home.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!!!
I sit down in my lazy boy. DAMN! "THERE AIN'T NO PLACE LIKE HOME!"
Dorothy's words rang clear! (You know from the Wizard of Oz! )
I look out the window on Christmas morn. Have Mercy!!! Snow up high on my door!
Then I remember, that snow throwing monster sitting, inside at work, all cozy like! I live 2 miles away and since I made it home last night, and have the drive dug out, why not? The dog can't even go outside! He'll get lost in a drift and I'll not find him till spring! Well, I did what any smart man would do I drove over and loaded that snow throwing S . O. B. and had a very Merry Christmas!!!
Monday, December 23, 2013
UNTRADITIONAL
I feel the need to say something meaningful, since it's the holiday season. I'm no longer a traditional kind of guy. I've, lived too long, the fairy tale child in me, comes so little. I do love it when my record of life skips though, stuck in the groove, if only, momentarily, I do, I really do. Innocence without thought, is so precious.
We all know what this holiday is about. It has been instilled in us, so deep, one can never forget.
Why? Is it the longer, I'm in this exercise of existence, this dimension of learning, the less . . . this time of the year is? The wonderful imagination of childhood . . . I yearn for that, I truly do! The excitement of mere simplicity, has left me. A Christmas tree in any window as my family once upon a time drove by, was magical. Now, the yearly nightly ride of the city's neighborhood lights leaves me longing, yearning!
These monstrosities of cheap plastic santas, snowmen, grinches, mangers, golden stars atop the roof, does not move me! The flashing lights upon the roof, sickens me!
Apparently tis, only me, as ones are seen scurrying about, store to store, spending, charging, more, more, more.
Will the world stop if they stop, their scurrying, hurrying, quest for???
Commercials, advertisements, half off, greatest sale ever, it goes on and on!!!
Think along with me now if you will . . . please? Close your eyes, lean back in your chair.
How do you feel about this season?
Is it the merriment of the season?
Just another holiday off work?
The hunt for deals, the shopping?
Family gatherings. "( That's always so special! )
Ah the religious aspect, we could never forget about that!
TIS NOT MY INTENTIONS TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE/HOLIDAY, I MEAN! I'M AN OLD MAN WHO'S SEEN MANY A SEASONS COME AND GO. MAYBE THAT IN ITSELF IS THE REASON. MY CHILDLIKE EYES AND MIND, ARE ALMOST GONE!
THE WOMDERMENT OF A CHILD, IS A MAGICAL RIDE OF IT'S OWN. LET THEM BASK IN IT!
BUT WE MUST GROW UP, AS WE GROW, WE GO ON A LEARNING EXPERIENCE NOT TAUGHT IN OUR FORMATIVE YEARS. THE SCHOOLING OF LIFE'S REALITIES ARE NOT MAKE BELIEVE. NO INSTRUCTIONAL GUIDES HANDED OUT, NOPE! YOU BE ON YOUR OWN BABY!
IF ONLY THE FAIRY TALES, WE LOVED AS CHILDREN, WERE STILL TRUE, LIFE WOULD BE SO MUSH EASIER.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, goodnight!
We all know what this holiday is about. It has been instilled in us, so deep, one can never forget.
Why? Is it the longer, I'm in this exercise of existence, this dimension of learning, the less . . . this time of the year is? The wonderful imagination of childhood . . . I yearn for that, I truly do! The excitement of mere simplicity, has left me. A Christmas tree in any window as my family once upon a time drove by, was magical. Now, the yearly nightly ride of the city's neighborhood lights leaves me longing, yearning!
These monstrosities of cheap plastic santas, snowmen, grinches, mangers, golden stars atop the roof, does not move me! The flashing lights upon the roof, sickens me!
Apparently tis, only me, as ones are seen scurrying about, store to store, spending, charging, more, more, more.
Will the world stop if they stop, their scurrying, hurrying, quest for???
Commercials, advertisements, half off, greatest sale ever, it goes on and on!!!
Think along with me now if you will . . . please? Close your eyes, lean back in your chair.
How do you feel about this season?
Is it the merriment of the season?
Just another holiday off work?
The hunt for deals, the shopping?
Family gatherings. "( That's always so special! )
Ah the religious aspect, we could never forget about that!
TIS NOT MY INTENTIONS TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE/HOLIDAY, I MEAN! I'M AN OLD MAN WHO'S SEEN MANY A SEASONS COME AND GO. MAYBE THAT IN ITSELF IS THE REASON. MY CHILDLIKE EYES AND MIND, ARE ALMOST GONE!
THE WOMDERMENT OF A CHILD, IS A MAGICAL RIDE OF IT'S OWN. LET THEM BASK IN IT!
BUT WE MUST GROW UP, AS WE GROW, WE GO ON A LEARNING EXPERIENCE NOT TAUGHT IN OUR FORMATIVE YEARS. THE SCHOOLING OF LIFE'S REALITIES ARE NOT MAKE BELIEVE. NO INSTRUCTIONAL GUIDES HANDED OUT, NOPE! YOU BE ON YOUR OWN BABY!
IF ONLY THE FAIRY TALES, WE LOVED AS CHILDREN, WERE STILL TRUE, LIFE WOULD BE SO MUSH EASIER.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all, goodnight!
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Rain, Reindeers, and Santa Claus!!!
Two weeks ago at this time snow was gently falling, with visions of Santa Claus dancing in my head.
( I'm an old man of 8 years old, sometimes. I love that feeling! )
Right now, it's 60 degrees, a warm gentle rain is falling. I left work an hour early, ya see, I work so hard, I done 8 hours work of work in 7!
"I love ya, yeah . . . yeah . . . yeah"!!!
Never mind flashback, I do reckon! I do like it when my mind throws a curve!
( This really is me PEOPLE!!! )
I kid . . . you not! You know why I love it? Ah! come on, you know. I be feeling good, mentally and physically!!! I walk outta the the bloody gates of hell-dumb, where a warm breeze slices thru me like the latest Ginseng knife, Christmas commercial. I let the hood down on my sweatshirt while removing my spectacles. It was a little hot and humid inside, so walking away from hell-dumb, thru them pearly gates, was . . . wonderful. A few steps into freedom, where . . . for . . . thou . . . are . . . not, no, dumb asses!
I take a gander up to the heavens , letting them tiny pearl drops of freedom, massage deep into an old man's soul!!!
I was, real sick, tonight, I was in the work-ity-ass-mood, I've been in for many, a moons!
"How so?"
Thanks my friends for asking this old, lame brained, one eyed, one good ear, with arthritis of the body, but, not the soul! Hell! I might just testify this morning. That's how good, I's a feeling!
Back to them tiny drops of wonderfulness, massaging my face, plum through to my soul. For a moment, I didn't think of nothing. Refreshing, moisture, rejuvenateth me. I was once again, 8 years old, sitting in a chair at grandpa's house, staring at the Santa Claus face, hanging on the front door. Santa faces inside, and lights up, one of those old-fashion Coca-Cola Santa's. The feeling of contentment, love, happiness, refurbisheth, my soul. That's the same feeling as the tiny golden droplets, soothing an old tired man's face, filling my heart with happiness.
(I know-sa, there ainna no such word as refurbisheth! Damn it! yer on GLENVIEW! )
NOW I ASK YOU, MY FRIENDS . . . WHAT? I SAY, WHAT? COULD BE BETTER THAN THIS? NOTHING!
Oh! Oh! Oh! I have a vision of reindeers, stopping at Taco Bell, filleth, my growling belly, and happy heart. I walk slowly . . . . . to my mountaineer, ( that be my S. U. V. ) walking thru the magical mystery rain, as I, a fixin' to goeth to Santa's favorite, late night, snacking place.
( Why now . . . do you reckon . . . Santa's so jolly, and fat? ) Yep! Old Santa's, a snacking machine!
Santa needs, new windshield wipers on his sleigh, but Santa forgets about it, until it raineths, nobody is allowed to drive Santa's sleigh, but you know who!
That reminds ol' Santa, oh dear! Santa's big ass sleigh, needeth, an oil change, OR, them 8 reindeers ( cylinders ) will quit workin'.
"On Prancer, on Dancer, to Taco Bell we go, ah, ha, ha, ha!"
Ah oh! Santa must stop at the ATM, even Santa doesn't get free tacos!
But first, Santa must make a convenient stop, at a convenient store, for a sugary half-gallon soft drink, with shaved ice. Umm, umm, good, Santa loveth, that shaved ice, reminds him of snow cones, ya see! When you get down real low, that shaved ice is . . .GOOD!!!
Santa gets his drink and a can of Jolt for each reindeer, two for Rudolph, gotta keep his big ass red nose shining bright!
Santa thinks . . . "OOPSEY! I be out of wrapping paper for . . . MEVER MIND"!!!
While waiting in line, vision of a joint, dancing in Santa's head, Santa sees a most unusual sight, two men, one about 5 feet 5, the other about 6 feet 6, doing the happiness, Sanata dance.
( When Santa thinks about rolling one, he becometh, Sanata Cause!!! )
These two uneven hombres, were doing, the slumbering Sanata Cause dance. You know, one of them walk, stop, while slinging the arms, stops, starts again! Man oh man! Sanata didn't think they'd ever get out the door! Sanata thought about buying some of that spice, he has been hearing so much about. Maybe after the Taco's
Soft Taco's Supremes, a sugary drink, and a vision of . . . never mind, dance in Sanata's head.
"On, you mangy reindeers, let's discharge some of them lightning bolts in a can, you mule-faced donkeys!"
Sanata's demeanor changes slightly, after Taco's, sugary drinks, and never mind!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL . . . . SLEEP TIGHT, WITH VISIONS OF THEM PEARLY GATES, MADE OF GOLD, LONG BEAUTIFUL LEGS, AND FOR YOU WOMEN . . . . . . . . .
VISIONS OF WHAT LAYETH. UNDERNEATH, THEM JOE BOXWE SHORTS . . . A DINGING . . . AND A DONGING!!!!!!! (ah, ha, ha, ha! )
Good night my friends from around the globe, until we meet again. Santa Glen!
( I'm an old man of 8 years old, sometimes. I love that feeling! )
Right now, it's 60 degrees, a warm gentle rain is falling. I left work an hour early, ya see, I work so hard, I done 8 hours work of work in 7!
"I love ya, yeah . . . yeah . . . yeah"!!!
Never mind flashback, I do reckon! I do like it when my mind throws a curve!
( This really is me PEOPLE!!! )
I kid . . . you not! You know why I love it? Ah! come on, you know. I be feeling good, mentally and physically!!! I walk outta the the bloody gates of hell-dumb, where a warm breeze slices thru me like the latest Ginseng knife, Christmas commercial. I let the hood down on my sweatshirt while removing my spectacles. It was a little hot and humid inside, so walking away from hell-dumb, thru them pearly gates, was . . . wonderful. A few steps into freedom, where . . . for . . . thou . . . are . . . not, no, dumb asses!
I take a gander up to the heavens , letting them tiny pearl drops of freedom, massage deep into an old man's soul!!!
I was, real sick, tonight, I was in the work-ity-ass-mood, I've been in for many, a moons!
"How so?"
Thanks my friends for asking this old, lame brained, one eyed, one good ear, with arthritis of the body, but, not the soul! Hell! I might just testify this morning. That's how good, I's a feeling!
Back to them tiny drops of wonderfulness, massaging my face, plum through to my soul. For a moment, I didn't think of nothing. Refreshing, moisture, rejuvenateth me. I was once again, 8 years old, sitting in a chair at grandpa's house, staring at the Santa Claus face, hanging on the front door. Santa faces inside, and lights up, one of those old-fashion Coca-Cola Santa's. The feeling of contentment, love, happiness, refurbisheth, my soul. That's the same feeling as the tiny golden droplets, soothing an old tired man's face, filling my heart with happiness.
(I know-sa, there ainna no such word as refurbisheth! Damn it! yer on GLENVIEW! )
NOW I ASK YOU, MY FRIENDS . . . WHAT? I SAY, WHAT? COULD BE BETTER THAN THIS? NOTHING!
Oh! Oh! Oh! I have a vision of reindeers, stopping at Taco Bell, filleth, my growling belly, and happy heart. I walk slowly . . . . . to my mountaineer, ( that be my S. U. V. ) walking thru the magical mystery rain, as I, a fixin' to goeth to Santa's favorite, late night, snacking place.
( Why now . . . do you reckon . . . Santa's so jolly, and fat? ) Yep! Old Santa's, a snacking machine!
Santa needs, new windshield wipers on his sleigh, but Santa forgets about it, until it raineths, nobody is allowed to drive Santa's sleigh, but you know who!
That reminds ol' Santa, oh dear! Santa's big ass sleigh, needeth, an oil change, OR, them 8 reindeers ( cylinders ) will quit workin'.
"On Prancer, on Dancer, to Taco Bell we go, ah, ha, ha, ha!"
Ah oh! Santa must stop at the ATM, even Santa doesn't get free tacos!
But first, Santa must make a convenient stop, at a convenient store, for a sugary half-gallon soft drink, with shaved ice. Umm, umm, good, Santa loveth, that shaved ice, reminds him of snow cones, ya see! When you get down real low, that shaved ice is . . .GOOD!!!
Santa gets his drink and a can of Jolt for each reindeer, two for Rudolph, gotta keep his big ass red nose shining bright!
Santa thinks . . . "OOPSEY! I be out of wrapping paper for . . . MEVER MIND"!!!
While waiting in line, vision of a joint, dancing in Santa's head, Santa sees a most unusual sight, two men, one about 5 feet 5, the other about 6 feet 6, doing the happiness, Sanata dance.
( When Santa thinks about rolling one, he becometh, Sanata Cause!!! )
These two uneven hombres, were doing, the slumbering Sanata Cause dance. You know, one of them walk, stop, while slinging the arms, stops, starts again! Man oh man! Sanata didn't think they'd ever get out the door! Sanata thought about buying some of that spice, he has been hearing so much about. Maybe after the Taco's
Soft Taco's Supremes, a sugary drink, and a vision of . . . never mind, dance in Sanata's head.
"On, you mangy reindeers, let's discharge some of them lightning bolts in a can, you mule-faced donkeys!"
Sanata's demeanor changes slightly, after Taco's, sugary drinks, and never mind!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL . . . . SLEEP TIGHT, WITH VISIONS OF THEM PEARLY GATES, MADE OF GOLD, LONG BEAUTIFUL LEGS, AND FOR YOU WOMEN . . . . . . . . .
VISIONS OF WHAT LAYETH. UNDERNEATH, THEM JOE BOXWE SHORTS . . . A DINGING . . . AND A DONGING!!!!!!! (ah, ha, ha, ha! )
Good night my friends from around the globe, until we meet again. Santa Glen!
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