MY STREAM

Been a real, real, REAL . . . rough winter for this old fart!  I have been waiting for warm weather and sunshine to break the grips of doldrums, and physical problems of which I found myself fighting. Needless to say my mood has suffered, and I did not want to post the same o, same o shit. You know! bad news, complaining, blah, blah, blah. Damn, we all get tired of that don't we? I will describe in great detail, my latest escapade in Glen View's world.

THOUGHT! Yes we old fuckers do get thoughts in between the senior moments! Have been reading the newspaper and watching some news last week, don't know why, all of a sudden I find myself wanting too. Well now! I'm in the sunset of my life, where the sun is not directly over me head, but, but, butttt . . . We have enough problems in law enforcement1 I do not think a 72 year old man should be a reserve deputy!

OH! OH! OH! I NEVER TOLD YOU THE JOB I USE TO DO WAS IN A COMMERCIAL PRINTING FACILITY, WHO OWNED AND PRODUCED SEVERAL NEWSPAPERS. JUST THOUGHT YOU OUGHT TO NOW SINCE I HAVEN'T WORKED THERE IN SEVEN MONTHS.

Back in early February I lost 18 lbs in one week. How? I hear ya asking! Several times in the last 5 years I was in the hospital for excess fluid retention. Well this here time I wasn't going back to the hospital, no way, Jose! It took me a week, I pissed off the fluid. I lived on, water, jello, oranges, milk, and no salt cashews. I literally cleansed my self body. The excess fluid retention was causing all my joints to hurt, and breathing problems. For 2 weeks after the purging of Glen, I felt amazing, then . . ,. I say . . . THEN . . . I wake up on Monday morning, and me left testicle was swollen twice its size, and let me tell ya, that ainna good! I sit on the edge of the bed and DAMN . .  pain shot through the little feller, I mean the new twice the size feller. Me surrounding area you know, the bag area scrotum thing swelled a wee more over the next few days, AND . . . being the stubborn man I is, I waited too long over the weekend my . . . my . . you know it becomes a monster. Sore, painful, I'd reckon! I told myself, "self, I ainna, gonna, go-a to NO damn hospital, huh ah, no way!" Monday morning at 8 am I was on the phone to the doctor. The receptionist ask me, "what is the problem?" I said "my testicles and scrotum are the size of a grapefruit!" She said "you come right on in!" The doctor looked at me, you know, and his eyes widened to the size of my . .  you know! He asked, "are you in pain?"  "Only when I move and sit!" He gives me a shot of antibiotics, and some heavy weight pills, and to come back in two days. He said "if you have any trouble urinating go to the hospital." Three days that week I go back, and get me a shot in me backside. I'm getting no better so on Friday, he gets me an appointment for 8 am to see a urologist. Monday morning bright and early I'm at the urologist. I be first and weren't no time at all, the specialist be a lookin' and a feelin' me balls! ( That's funny now, believe me wasn't then. Oh! oh! oh! )   (((Should I say this or not! Oh hell I be in a funny mood, I gonna say exactly what I be a thinkin', after all that's the fun of this here writing, streaming, what-cha-ma-call-it shite! This here be the truth and nothing but the truth so help my almost not swollen balls! )))  [ PLACE LAUGH HERE.] After all, if you cannot laugh at yourself, who ya gonna! ]

I do get carried away sometimes and I like it! Yes I do!

I went under water in my journey down the stream of life and was a gonna tell ya somethun, somethun. The part about me scrotum was so swollen it ate me penis! YEAH!!! It disappeared into the swollen mass of my genitals. ( Let me just say there was absolutely nothin' gentle about the whole ordeal!!! )

Doc. said "It'll take about 4 to 6 weeks for this to run its course. After looking at all the meds you have been on in the last several months it caused some problems, a abscess has formed and is causing you much difficulty. Keep taking the medicine your doctor prescribed and I'm going to prescribe another heavyweight one to take along with the other, plus some pain meds. Come back in a week."

ASSES!

I may not complete this post and go with whatever is there. We all know what "he's a horse's ass means" right? A donkey is also called an ass, but I  don't believe that is downing the poor little donkey, somewhere's along the line and I know not why this example come to be.

(((UH! I wanna warn ya, I been tryin' to learn proper English through my hearing impaired close caption thing a-ma-jig on me tele, ya ee! ))) Wells now I am a tad confused, I see words that just donna seem spelled correcto-mundo to me.I be hearing impaired along with other impairments of age, and . . . it seems correcto, well at least to me sometimes. Then other times it really be screwy (ya though I was gonna say fucked up, didn't you?) Oops!!! I did . . . I did . ..I DID! Damn it! Here's the conclusion me old brain come-a to. I think they let computers decipher the words and they's fuk them up, yes they does! Maybe there ainna enough English majors arounds no more to properly fix them there wurdS! That there be an old fat farts opinion!

Oh, oh, oh I lostee me trane of thinkin' imagine that! ) is trane an air-conditioner or one of them big loco-motive what-cha-ma-call-its that runs on the tracks? )

Back to what the title of this lost post says. Asses. I binged it and guess a what it won't give me the definition of ass, so I punched in arse since that's how I think the English spell it. Nope so I was gettin' perplexed, flummoxed, mad, fucked up, causin I heard that word a gazillion times. Where did that word go? So I punched in derriere, yep . . .  BINGO! Derriere = buttocks, butt for slang!

I type in butt, nope, I add an s and get butt splice, and butt surgery. What can't I get ass or the proper English version arse. I did not grow up hearing "buttocks, or derriere, I heard ass!, I'mma gonna whip yer ass!"

Good golly Miss Molly I'm out of it tonight!

The ass thing. Ya see there ainna nothin' I'd rather do than look at a woman with a nice, derriere, buttocks, ass. What in the world has happened to some of these ladies arses. ( I tried to proper that up! ) You know what I be a sayin' I don't have to e-l-a-b-or-a-t-e, no more, BUTT I'mma gonna. I see girls shakin', their ass so fast they could power a windmill on a windless day. You'll see a bunch of them on a certain channel convulsing like the old devil has cast a spell on them. I'mma thinkon' they a gonna shake their ass or pelvis loose and never be able to shake it ever again. What if they were working girls, you know! Anybody that had ass action like that could make a fortune! Yeah! Work that ass for a month or so and retire to The Bahamas. I'd be afraid of women that have asses and can shake it like that. Why they'd tear my manhood off.

DOES MONEY GROW ON TREES???

Haven't used my computer in a spell, I like to never got it up and running again. I was convinced it was down for good. I rebooted and rebooted and finally . . . it popped to life. I reckon it decided if, I wasn't going to use it then it would visit the great computer gates.

I'm-ma, gonna, prime me brain pump and see where this goes. One never knows with me!

FINALLY . . . the snow has melted, upper 50's, seeds of spring dance in me head, hallelujah! I been out walking enjoying the freshness of a big ol' bear rejuvenating after a long winter's nap.

I have been getting my chihuahua puppy used to riding in my car. Took him into my mothers, she didn't look to good, she's also suffering from a long cold winter. She was in a much better mood and smiling after a couple hours of playing with the puppy. She sits outside all day in the summertime rocking away the hours in her swing. I now can identify with older folks after retirement. The winters are extremely challenging. We don't have to get out in the cold, snowy winter so we don't. I do envy the worker bees still, one has to have a purpose, a true reason to continue, continuing on, with the adversities thrown at you. After a lifetime of feeling like a valuable member of the whole, shot down just when you think you've gotten a handle on life, you feel empty, physically and mentally.

The funny thing I have all the time in the world to peck away at the keyboard, I have little desire to do so. Whilst I was one tiny fraction of the whole, I emotionally was involved. I had many answers but no one cared. That in itself was hard to handle. A lifetime of experience meant nothing anymore. I made good money and that was part of the problem. They could hire young ones and save on the hour. Experience apparently is worthless. Ah! That's not the overriding factor. It's age and body takes a toil, insurance, hospital, so on and so forth. I hold no ill feelings against the ones I work with everyday. It's a upper management, money thing, you see. I have discussed with many people since my brush with the hereafter, sadly I hear similar stories.

Much money is made off the older people, with age comes old age problems. I cannot begin to estimate how big the healthcare, medicines, and yes the insurance companies, are in cahoots a legalized way to rob, especially the elderly. The elderly have the most money I'm sure, but they treat us as no longer important. We leave our money in the bank, no longer splurging as we once could. Physical limitations make it impossible. Yet if our children or grandchildren need money "who they gonna call?" The gray hairs!

With what older citizens has paid in after fifty years of work our medical needs should be free. When you're young and full of piss and vinegar, most don't need it. Families do! I'm tired after working my ass off and giving all I can and of being treated like a third thought. DAMN IF THE KNOWLEDGE, LEADERSHIP, EXPERIENCE, COULD AND WOULD BE TAPPED INTO, I GUARNTEE YOU THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE. WE HAVE SACRIFICED TO RAISE OUR CHILDREN, SEND THEM TO SCHOOL, TO MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE. IT'S NOT THE SENIOR CITIZENS WHO HAVE FUCKED AMERICA UP . . . NO SIR! IT BE THE FUCKING MONEY PEOPLE, THE POLITICIANS. WE HAVE EARNED . . .
PAID . . . OUR WAY TO BECOME DEMOTED TO THIRD CLASS CITIZENS BEHIND THE YOUNG, THE ALIENS.

WE HAVE TO LIVE WITHIN OUR MEANS ALWAYS HAVE. AFTER ALL WE UNDERSTAND THAT MONEY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES!

IF?

I have been gone for awhile ... mentally and physically. Physically shot, in the bed for seven days, my mind was manic, I could not sleep.

So how was February or at least the last part, for you. Hopefully  fair to meddlin'.

I could not sleep, no dreams for me, my most important medicine for mental state and physical replenishment. Ahh! I did have much time for thought! Little comfort from that, as my mind was producing no help. I was in a loop of same ol', same ol', stuck groove as the old vinyl albums use to do. The more I tried resisting proved futile.

I could not rest, there was no way to lay or sit in my easy chair that would allow the least bit of comfort. Seven days I battle the devil, the devil was me! Three times before I fought this particular condition in the hospital, "no more!" I say. "I'll ride this out at home or die here in my bed!"

The body will tell you the problems, if! "I say IF! we listen". The trouble be now, I quit listening!
Felt better lost some weight, slowly old habits return. After all, I've abused my body all my life. Once I turned blue, brought back to life, given a second chance. Sure enough, lifetime of bad habits creep back in. After all we all have bad habits, don't we.

SINCE MY TWO HOSPITAL VACATIONS BACK IN SEPTEMBER ( HA, HA) I GAVE UP MANY THINGS THAT I HAVE BEEN ADDICTED TO ALL MY LIFE SUCH AS CAFFEINE, SUGAR, SALT, FAST FOOD, ALL THE GOOD STUFF THAT'S BAD FOR YOU. SLOWLY I GO BACK TO THE BAD HABITS, SO SLOWLY I BARELY NOTICED. WELL, MY BODY GOES HAYWIRE AND I LET IT HAPPEN. GLUCOSE OUT OF WHACK, POTASSIUM, LOW, TOO MUCH SALT CAUSING MY BODY TO RETAIN WATER. ENTIRELY MY FAULT AND MY STUPIDITY. I KNOW NOW AFTER GIVING ONCE AGAIN ANOTHER CHANCE, I HAVE NOBODY TO BLAME BUT ME.

HARD LESSONS ARE LEARNED THE HARD WAY. THESE LESSONS MUST BE REMEMBERED PERMANENTLY OR BAD HABITS RETURN. IN MY CASE JUST POOR EATING HABITS. SO SIMPLE YET SO HARD TO DO. MY EATING HABITS MUST REMAIN GOOD AS IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS. I FEEL REALLY GOOD AND WISH TO HOLD ONTO THAT.

I SHALL, REINTRODUCE MYSELF

It's 4 am, can't sleep. This is the time I use ta, ( I LIKE USE TA INSTEAD OF USE TO, I CARE NONE ABOUT CORRECTNESS, LIKE THAT THERE SONG I JUST WANNA HAVE FUN! ) (( Where the hell did that song come from?? ) write a post most every night. I'd come home after a hard day's night, always something on my mind to play with. Use ta, be so fun, I want that back. I need the emotional content, a jarring my mind to action. It sometimes would be magic, as I write a few lines, then something would take me away, a rant, a rave, a story, maybe something funny, well at least to me. Humor, rather finding humor, to make the stings be gone, the depressions of which there will always be, is essential for survival, with the pace, the tone of the world today. I'll never got used to the stupidity, the lack of class, lack of teamwork, lack of leadership. I never will. Morals, values are gone forever! It's all about, me, me, me.

Maybe its time to reintroduce myself to my readers. I'm a simple man who was fortunate to grow up in another era, where it was so much easier than today.

I was born in the early 1950's. My first memories are of visiting my grandpa and grandma on my daddy's side. They were poor, real poor, they lived way out in what was called the hills and hollers, no electricity, I'm talking bare bones here. Heat and cooking was done on a wood cook stove, out house, no running water, pigs, chickens, a large garden as they canned vegetables for the winter. I know we cannot imagine such a thing in our cozy homes of today.

On my mother's side, my grandpa worked for the railroad and provided a decent living for his family. Family oriented, all the children graduated high school, none on my father's side did. My grandpa whom I'm named after was a hard working, down to earth tall, slim man. His hobby was growing a large garden for the family, and yes, it was canned for the winter, no supermarkets in the country especially way back when.

I grew up a sum what normal chubby boy. Scars of my father and his scars of upbringing still carry baggage to this day. My mother is an angel! No use ta elaborate on that can't get any better.

Work is all I've ever known until last year. I'm now retired collecting what I've paid in all my life. Hard to get used to, but feel I'm over the hump. I've worked all my life in factories. Well that's not true at the age of 16 I began my career as a bus boy/dishwasher and soon learned all the jobs within the restaurant. I pumped gas for a year or so after high school. ( Yes once upon a time this was done! ) Then factories paid the most for somebody like me so, hi-ho! hi-ho! it was off to work I go!

Paid my taxes done what was expected of me for 47 years done many a jobs from janitor to management. Always gave my all and cared too much by the standards of today. I was forced to retire, we get older companies don't want our experience any more. The older ones are put out to pasture, mainly today because of old age ailments and INSURANCE.

Married for over 40 years, that's my proudest accomplishment. If it was not for my wife, and family I believe I'd sooner stayed there when my heart stopped. NO! I'm not depressed anymore, there was peace. That is self explanatory! I have a post in mind and I'll elaborate more on what may seem to you somewhat unusual.

A few years ago I wanted to place my thoughts down. I began trying, man it ain't easy, having no experience at such a thing, nor ever using a keyboard before. Working in factories all my life, never needed to. I was a grease monkey not a white shirt.

It was brutal, to say the least. I have enjoyed every minute and proud of myself for plugging away at the impossible for a poor boy like me.

Many obstacles have set me back in the last couple years. I'm a tryin' to get back on the horse after being thrown many times.

I have several posts in mind, a new puppy has taken much of my time recently, A chihuahua, that I'm considering naming Chi.

I take pride in you visiting my humble site. The older posts continue to get solid results, I still wonder why I took this path, ( Thanks Timster! ) it's been a real hoot and hope for more a plenty to follow. The Adventures Of Me And Chi. An old retired fat man and a three pound puppy. 

Psycho

I'm not sure what happened on yesterday's post. I opened my mind and damn, my stream of consciousness, started screaming and my fingers would not stop. Perhaps that is good to get it out of my system and begin again. Therapy, I'd say, psycho-analyzing me-self! That's funny psycho, and analyzing. Humm, I gotta dwell on that fer, a second or two. If you had a psycho, analyzing himself , you would not need a therapist nor a psychiatrist prescribing the good, latest drug of choice for the psycho impaired.

I have confused myself, I looked up psychotic, psychosis, now I feel funny, confused, insane, mentally unstable, deranged and generally fucked up. Oh! I get it now, that was when I used to work I was that way, and . . now I'm all better.

I best mosey away from that psychiatry mumbo jumbo, it's too confusing! I'll prime me pump and see where the stream thing takes me, after all I ainna learnin' nothin' no more.  (Lookee there, I plum forgot to put the g in learnin' and nothin'." I may just turn 'er loose and get right silly. I don't like writin' right, nor serious, It takes too much out of me, and I ainna, gotta, too much left in there, you know!

I'm an old boy not understanding much. I reckon that a be the way too go anyhow. Thinkin' too much 'bout any darn thing, it'll produce headaches in the old farts like me, yes-sir. Once upon a time when I would read the newsie paper and watcha the evening news I'd be a shakin' my head fer about an hour confused and stuck on power down mode. After 'bout an hour me wife would smack me back to the real world. We'd watch Jeopardy and The Wheel of Fortune to somewhat gather me wits. These brainiacs they have on Jeopardy, where did they come from? Another planet, ain't NOBODY I worked with, or hung around have a memory like these brain aliens. One thing fer sure they weren't schooled in America!

I have a temporary news flash, ( heavens to Betsy, ) been a spell since I have had a bulb above me head. About 25 years or so, give or take a few brain cells, I would get what's called cluster headaches. Well ya ain't experienced a headache until you've experienced these devils. I bet yer a thinkin' "This Glen fella has experienced many ailments in his life, yep! Physical and mental, I been there, done that. Ya see that is why I call it GLEN VIEW, causin' I like a to do it my way, and because there be many looney-tooney characters that like to visit and play with me. Ya know GLEN VIEW as in a mental hospital, years ago they'd just lock us up in a sanitarium. They had no good drugs back then, just electric shock therapy and tie you in a wheel chair and make you stare at the other inmates.

Oh my! I be a full of shite tonight! Guess what? I love it. Is some of the old Glen a creeping back in. Since my stays in real hospitals, no! no! no! not the modernized versions of GLENVIEW. Actual hospitals for heart attacks and such.

I have come to the conclusion the last few trying months. "I know conclusively nothing about nothing, and will run for State Senator and The White House in a few years." Yep, I'd be a good ol' politician, get me some aides to do all my thinkin' fer me, some pretty ones to boot, and try to waste all your money for you. Have military in all the countries of the world. YEP, I CAN DO THAT!!!!! 

IT'S ONLY . . . MAKE BELIEVE!!!

The day brought forth much sunlight, no wind, 57 degrees, WOW! It warmed, me heart, I need that! I have been sleeping like an old bear, all I wanna do is lay under the covers on cold dreary days, Sleeping and dreaming is free, and wonderful, right now.

Come hither Glen, into the caverns, unleash the pent up, filed away emotions making you a stronger man. Yeah baby, I wanna some of that!

While painting the living room, the pains of me old body showeth with fury. I rolled on the walls, but the wear of my right shoulder when I held it high caused the shakes of former injuries on the trim, I had to call in reinforcements on that, a good thing, I can't get up and down like I once did. Tylenol is no longer enough, the body rebels, and goes into shock! For two days I hurt in places where I never knew I had places before! We got 'er down and looks right nice.

It said "DAMN! What the fricking hell, are you a tryin to do to me! You ain't been doing did-dly squat! You crazy ol' freaking, creaking, numb skull!"

I present to you once again one of my inner voices who has remained quiet for a long, long time, here now is Joe Pesky.

 "I did not want to rattle your chain during the dying, hospital, lost of job thing. I knew you were depressed. So now that I feel you can handle the truth, well now I wish to give you both barrels of my shotgun!"

For those of you that have read Joe Pesky's comments before, he tells it, like it is, like John Taffer on the show "Bar Rescue." Oh no! I been watching too much telvision! John Taffer is a cut to the chase kind a feller, I absolutely love him! He be my kind a man! He's my hero as far as management goes. Dag nap it, I be a wanderin' . . . imagine that!

Joe Pesky "Ya see Glen I know yer a good ol' boy, that unfortunately got tangled in the web of a printing press, and was fucked up, for awhile. You had the misfortune of having a little blood clout to the heart thing, okay! okay! okay! Soo you checked out for a little while. A little vacation is good for you! Also the down time for the brain probably did not hurt, after all you ain't no, physicist! The restarting of your heart a few times probably charged your battery for several years to come! You become a victim of the system, meaning you got sick, bye, bye. Old fuckers like you are a waste of time in the modern world! Supposedly the lifetime expectancy keeps a rising. Once you old farts die off it'll go down hill. Ya see these here so called energy drinks will kill this young-ins off, also there's so much other illegal drugs, with all the huffing and a puffing going on, if their bodies don't kill them off as in a caffeine induced heart attacks, then . . . them drugs will fry their brains. They be hooked on spices sold legally, with LSD type side effects, coming into the country stir fried and right to your door.

In a time where CONTROL is needed, there ain't none baby! Whose in control, the government, your Daddy, I don't think so!!! There ain't enough good Daddies to go around. If you ainna, gotta, a good Momma and Daddy you're thrown into the devil of a society! You a thrown to the wolves, yes you are, and who are the wolves? They be them devils in sheep's clothing! Most ainna, gonna make it! You see more people living at home with their parents than ever, and more grandparents raising the grandchildren than ever before.

What's to be done? I cry for the newer generations, and what's to come. Is there hope? Hope is gone baby! That is a over used word! I don't have to read the newspaper. which I never will again. Don't have to look at the world news, its so obvious to me in my little world here in the heart of the Heartland. We build, new fancy schools, spend all the money like it's grown on trees, or printed on printing presses as we need it. There is absolutely NOTHING to secure the intelligence of our children. Why should there be? They don't see it, the parents, schools, states, bureaucrats, NOBODY A SHOWING IT!!! WHO . . .  do they have to look up to? It has become a world of make believe, yes it has! We have give our children too much! Too much of a good thing has killed the goose that laid the golden eggs. The world IS, make believe to the ONES that play chess with we, the billions of slaves. We are led down the path, of unrighteousness, by the same class of money hungry, power controlling, whatch-a-ma-call-them's, that we always have, and we're too fucking looking with our heads up in the clouds, or in the sand to know or simply give a fuck abut it. The upper crust of the middle class can still afford their new homes and S.U.V. You'll see even the poorest of the poor working peasants with the latest smart phones costing hundreds of dollars and one can guess how much they spend a month for them. The latest afflictions to all of us, is the ever increasingly dependence on phones. SHITE! their not even phones anymore! They taketh the users to places they've never been before. They take us farther than Star Trek could ever imagine. I have seen the information technology go leaps and bounds into the future too fast. We have warped ourselves into a future unimaginable a generation or two ago.

Who is in charge of the world? No one knows! Common sense tells you it is the richest of the rich, AND how did they get so rich? They control us, and everything in the world. They control the militaries and if you control the militaries and all branches of government you can think yourself God.

So we the peasants are given our toys, prescribed to us by "THE ONES," I have no other words to describe them! Their real, but we do not know them, nor will ever. Thank them for the lowering of intelligence. They win before the child is born, they know what will happen in the years ahead, they are way ahead of us and we cannot win.

OH WELL, JUST THE RAMBLINGS OF AN OLD MAN WHO CHOOSES TO STAY IN MY HEAD, THE INTERPRETATION OF JOE PESKY, WHOSE ONLY CLAIM TO INTELLIGENCE HAS BEEN REDUCED TO LIVING HIS LIFE INSIDE OF ME. I'M TIRED AND SICK OF THINKING, "WE THE PEOPLE"   CAN CHANGE THINGS, WE'RE DEALT A LOSING HAND AND THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS PLAY IT OUT, HOPING FOR MIRACLES THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. THE ONLY MIRACLE WILL BE THE LAST CHECK OUT!"