Hello friends. In the age of caffeinated jet fuel for the young-ins of the modern age I have weaned myself totally off of the caffeine buzz. I know! DAMN . . . never thought I could do it! My blood pressure has been real good for months, yip-pee! I drink milk, water and decaffeinated drinks. Hells fire, I gotta no place to go, soo, why get there sooner!
I been a thinkin' about reviewing these stinkoid programs they call. REALITY, or I could give some more vulgar descriptions of some, of . . . of . . . I don't have the words of wisdom to describe them! Just when I think I've screened rock bottom, I witness hell in all its glory! Actually it has been quite comical, I tell myself, "I ainna gonna watch a no more of these bottom feeders of a so called program!". Scum sucking, fucking mind numbing ????????????????? So I have in mind reviewing for y'all out there these here so called whatch-a-ma-call-them, shows. Ya see I have absolutely nothin' to lose! I be retarded, and retired, so I already fucked up and a little more won't matter.
I thought I had seen some screwy people in my life but these people on these programs are literally out of this world!!!!!!! Yeah that be the only way this here old boy can explain it. Hey I ainna kiddin' ya! If you think I am channel surf and wow-za, smack dab in the face any hour of the day!
I will become a television critic, for those of you that don't have the time to watch stinkoid T.V. I on the other hand have the time.
This could be a lot o fun, I wanted to be a movie critic in my younger years, so maybe I will be a television critic in search of intelligent shows. Maybe, just maybe I've found my calling in life. There has to be intelligent life forms out there somewhere, please join me as I venture into uncharted territory of ignoramus fucking morons. You know I have stumbled, rather, fallen and returned back to life and found where my destiny lies. Wrap my long lost sense of humor to television viewing in search of . . . ???
Friday, January 30, 2015
PRIDE AND DREAMS
I have a plenty, yet nothing worthwhile to say. Huh? I know it's plum silly. I'm becoming a expert in watching television. It is something to occupy my eyes, wiling away the hours with pretty colors, and shows carrying little meaning. I sit down at the computer and wait for wisdom, nothing comes! Wisdom of my lifetime is a waste, in the modern world, lost somewhere in everything and nothing. Attained over 60 years of actual experience through heartaches, lessons learned only through a learning . . . well . . . I don't a wanna learn, no more! My fullness of life's lessons have over flowed. No! no! no! not saying I'm smart, quite the opposite! Ignorance is bliss. Use to I could write a funny line or two most every night. I wish for that to return! I'm no longer angry, I have gone through all the normal emotions one would expect in the last six months. I find myself waiting for direction. It will come, don't feel sorry for me.
I'm existing, existing is life, right? I need more! I need purpose, a purpose to sink my heart into. Religion is not my cup of tea.
I've not done anything of any importance, only breathing my share of oxygen for a spell. I'm going to paint the living room, doesn't matter how much I do in a day after all the importance is in the doing. The final product and accomplishment should give me pride. Pride is a wonderful feeling. I've always taken pride in my work and have accomplished many things.
My dreams have returned to a standard never experienced before. I now live my emotions inside where I've never gone before. Their deeper, fuller, where love take me high than I've ever felt before. Hate has left, what a crying shame, so much can be done with hate, a non-stop, never to end blog can be fueled with such a worthless emotion. Hatred, anger damn near killed me, bringing me not to my knee, but flirting with death.
For I now live my emotions in my dreams. So much better than any man made movies. I awake for a few seconds and feel the fullness of the emotions allowed to me within that dream. Colors are superior, the wind in my face is more, so much more. All is deeper and that my friends has allowed me to find comfort once again. For within my dreams I am me without any reservations.
The daily waking sameness I now find myself in, seems not real. Like I'm stuck in a Twilight Zone episode I cannot change. nor have the power too. Existing the day away without hope, to be more. If not for my wife, my four legged companions, I would have no wish to carry on. Luckily for me I have reasons to carry on.
In painting the living room I took much longer, yet I got er done. I must take more breaks but have no races to win.
The racing is done as I coast for awhile, looking for my piece of the peace until the last tomorrow.
I'm existing, existing is life, right? I need more! I need purpose, a purpose to sink my heart into. Religion is not my cup of tea.
I've not done anything of any importance, only breathing my share of oxygen for a spell. I'm going to paint the living room, doesn't matter how much I do in a day after all the importance is in the doing. The final product and accomplishment should give me pride. Pride is a wonderful feeling. I've always taken pride in my work and have accomplished many things.
My dreams have returned to a standard never experienced before. I now live my emotions inside where I've never gone before. Their deeper, fuller, where love take me high than I've ever felt before. Hate has left, what a crying shame, so much can be done with hate, a non-stop, never to end blog can be fueled with such a worthless emotion. Hatred, anger damn near killed me, bringing me not to my knee, but flirting with death.
For I now live my emotions in my dreams. So much better than any man made movies. I awake for a few seconds and feel the fullness of the emotions allowed to me within that dream. Colors are superior, the wind in my face is more, so much more. All is deeper and that my friends has allowed me to find comfort once again. For within my dreams I am me without any reservations.
The daily waking sameness I now find myself in, seems not real. Like I'm stuck in a Twilight Zone episode I cannot change. nor have the power too. Existing the day away without hope, to be more. If not for my wife, my four legged companions, I would have no wish to carry on. Luckily for me I have reasons to carry on.
In painting the living room I took much longer, yet I got er done. I must take more breaks but have no races to win.
The racing is done as I coast for awhile, looking for my piece of the peace until the last tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
The Old Man
The old man gets out of bed, shakes the cobwebs out of his head, and stretches his legs to get them going. The first step after putting on his house shoes are unsteady. His body seems to have aged twenty years in the last several months. He looks at himself in the mirror thinking "DAMN!!! I have Bill Clinton's bags under my eyes!" His morning necessities seem to take longer, you know the bathroom routine! He gets a glass o milk and a toast and cheese sandwich. Goes to his chair in the living room, his butt barely eases down ( Everything is easy in movements since retirement. ) and his dog is in his lap. Warm comfort to a tired old soul. It is not yet daylight and he stares out the double window where the worker bees are a buzzing to work. Seems oh so long ago he was one of them. Daylight creeps in and he watches the birds of many different feathers flock for breakfast. Man this time of the year they tear the bird feeders up! You can lose yourself in the simplicity of watching them. Daylight to dark, their happy for a free meal. Traffic on the main road picks up then slows down as the workers have reached their destination and are creating product and all the what-nots of their duties. The worker bees are a buzzing for survival. For it be the survival of the fittest, older generations are put out to pasture whether they want to or not. The old are dispensable, replaced with modern versions, that are paid cheaper. That's the way its always been, more so today where insurance, money, we're just a number carrying a lifetime of aging that companies no longer will carry.
The old man finds it harder to get out of his chair, more times going to the bathroom, age has finally took its toil. Just not the body, the mind has finally accepted the inevitable. The last few years his battery was slowly depleting, he chose to ignore the signs and push on, after all that's all he's ever known. Work till you drop, finally the drop happened with such magnitude, reality hit him hard, smack-dab like a killers bullet between the eyes. Still he shrugs off the time in the hospitals and prepares to get back amongst the worker bees. Strength coming back with him working out, after all work is all he's ever known, after all no one gets ahead by being idle!
It was not to be after recovering nicely physically, briefly visiting a place where few return from, mentally he was shot down, visiting a mental place that almost took him down equivalent to the minutes of no heart beat, nor breathing. Devastated as to how the scenario played out, the old man forced into the pasture where old horses go.
Experience, wisdom, devotion means little. After a lifetime of learned knowledge, it means diddly-squat.
The old man finds it harder to get out of his chair, more times going to the bathroom, age has finally took its toil. Just not the body, the mind has finally accepted the inevitable. The last few years his battery was slowly depleting, he chose to ignore the signs and push on, after all that's all he's ever known. Work till you drop, finally the drop happened with such magnitude, reality hit him hard, smack-dab like a killers bullet between the eyes. Still he shrugs off the time in the hospitals and prepares to get back amongst the worker bees. Strength coming back with him working out, after all work is all he's ever known, after all no one gets ahead by being idle!
It was not to be after recovering nicely physically, briefly visiting a place where few return from, mentally he was shot down, visiting a mental place that almost took him down equivalent to the minutes of no heart beat, nor breathing. Devastated as to how the scenario played out, the old man forced into the pasture where old horses go.
Experience, wisdom, devotion means little. After a lifetime of learned knowledge, it means diddly-squat.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
SURVIVOR
As we put 2014 to bed, I for one am glad. The ups and downs of 2014 about done this here old boy down! Nothing is for sure, not even tomorrow. I have learned many lessons, probably more than all my others years combined. Sheesh, I reckon a survivor is a winner, hey?
One word or a short phrase will turn into a short vision in my head, many times during the day. I'm never near my computer, I've tried writing down a few keywords, but it's not the same, when I try to write it the feelings accompanying the thought is gone. I must have that feeling to produce. No! I don't have a portable computer, I'm not important enough to need one. I'm an old fashion man with old fashion ways, which I do not wish to give up until my last forever sleep. I reckon I'm still living in the first 30 years or so of my life. That would be the 50's, 60's, and 70's. I'm not saying that there was always good times. I'm a simple man with simple ways and those times fit me better. I was young still learning about life. I had a fire in me belly, that's burned out. I felt as though I could do anything, just put my mind to it. I gave my all no matter what the challenge was. I enjoyed all the simple pleasures of life. Motorcycle riding was fantastic, fishing was relaxing, going to the movies was still the adventure I loved as a child, sex, well sex was a new adventure in exploration and closeness as two people can find.
Well shit! What am I trying to say. I'll give an example. I have cable with an unbelievable amount of channels. I find myself forever searching for something to enjoy. I recently discovered by accident that I have channels from 1010 up to 1500. I ask myself "what the hell is this all about?" NOBODY told me about this!!!I have a 42 inch screen, so channels thru 250 are what I have been a tryin' to find something worth watching. Probably half these channels I cannot get, well now I fucked something up on me remote a couple Sunday mornings ago and I was getting new clearer, sharper channels around 1200. I realized this higher channels were in high definition. WHY? Seems I don't understand ANYTHING any more and by dog-gie I don't wanna! These channels are mostly the same channels as my low channels but much clearer. The colors are prettier, everything so much better. Shite I can see a tick on a dog's butt. The close ups on older stars, sheesh! DAMN!!! they be OLD!
I reckon the key to aging is quite simple, just be a survivor, out live the others. Fer whatever the reason, I'm still alive, don't do one no good to think about it. Whether I been good or bad, don't mean diddly!
SOMETIMES IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A SURVIVOR, SOMETIMES I FEEL SO OUT OF PLACE I WANT TO HIDE. IT IS WHAT IT IS I RECKON, AND I BELIEVE EVER ONE WILL MOST LIKELY EXPERIENCE THAT BEFORE THEY CHECK OUT.
I FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN WHEN I CAN ACTUALLY FIND SOMETHING GOOD TO WATCH ON MY BIG SCREEN TELEVISION OF MANY CHANNELS. ALMOST . . . AS GOOD AS I FELT WHEN WE HAD THREE CHANNELS IN BLACK AND WHITE, COMING HOME AFTER SCHOOL AND WATCH "THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB." DAMN HOW THINGS CHANGE.
I been a drinkin', and a thinkin' (That may be a bad combination, I drink sprite zero.)
One word or a short phrase will turn into a short vision in my head, many times during the day. I'm never near my computer, I've tried writing down a few keywords, but it's not the same, when I try to write it the feelings accompanying the thought is gone. I must have that feeling to produce. No! I don't have a portable computer, I'm not important enough to need one. I'm an old fashion man with old fashion ways, which I do not wish to give up until my last forever sleep. I reckon I'm still living in the first 30 years or so of my life. That would be the 50's, 60's, and 70's. I'm not saying that there was always good times. I'm a simple man with simple ways and those times fit me better. I was young still learning about life. I had a fire in me belly, that's burned out. I felt as though I could do anything, just put my mind to it. I gave my all no matter what the challenge was. I enjoyed all the simple pleasures of life. Motorcycle riding was fantastic, fishing was relaxing, going to the movies was still the adventure I loved as a child, sex, well sex was a new adventure in exploration and closeness as two people can find.
Well shit! What am I trying to say. I'll give an example. I have cable with an unbelievable amount of channels. I find myself forever searching for something to enjoy. I recently discovered by accident that I have channels from 1010 up to 1500. I ask myself "what the hell is this all about?" NOBODY told me about this!!!I have a 42 inch screen, so channels thru 250 are what I have been a tryin' to find something worth watching. Probably half these channels I cannot get, well now I fucked something up on me remote a couple Sunday mornings ago and I was getting new clearer, sharper channels around 1200. I realized this higher channels were in high definition. WHY? Seems I don't understand ANYTHING any more and by dog-gie I don't wanna! These channels are mostly the same channels as my low channels but much clearer. The colors are prettier, everything so much better. Shite I can see a tick on a dog's butt. The close ups on older stars, sheesh! DAMN!!! they be OLD!
I reckon the key to aging is quite simple, just be a survivor, out live the others. Fer whatever the reason, I'm still alive, don't do one no good to think about it. Whether I been good or bad, don't mean diddly!
SOMETIMES IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A SURVIVOR, SOMETIMES I FEEL SO OUT OF PLACE I WANT TO HIDE. IT IS WHAT IT IS I RECKON, AND I BELIEVE EVER ONE WILL MOST LIKELY EXPERIENCE THAT BEFORE THEY CHECK OUT.
I FEEL LIKE A KID AGAIN WHEN I CAN ACTUALLY FIND SOMETHING GOOD TO WATCH ON MY BIG SCREEN TELEVISION OF MANY CHANNELS. ALMOST . . . AS GOOD AS I FELT WHEN WE HAD THREE CHANNELS IN BLACK AND WHITE, COMING HOME AFTER SCHOOL AND WATCH "THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB." DAMN HOW THINGS CHANGE.
I been a drinkin', and a thinkin' (That may be a bad combination, I drink sprite zero.)
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
One More Day!
Got through another day today. Sometimes it seems that's all I have. A daily ritual of somewhat boredom. I have no desire to tackle anything therefore I'm not productive. Is living productive. Cooking dinner, doing laundry, going to the supermarket, where I find nothing super, being productive?
It's supposed to be -14 tonight and I could only find one of my gloves today. the daytime temperature was only 11 degrees with the north wind howling "brr, brr, cold!" So one of my hands was snuggly warm and the other was in my coat pocket. Well now, I thought "this may work on a sunny day with the warmth of the sun in my reasonably warm, Mercury, but . . . I may need both hands, therefore both gloves before winters over. " (smart ain't I?) Funny it's the coldest day of the year and I had me the hankering, fer chocolate milk! (hankering means, desire, want, I need some chocolate ya know!) OH! by the way gasoline be $2.15 here in the middle of the Midwest. Who would of a thunk it? (yes I meant to say thunk! Got to watch me now I'm feeling a mite high, I fixed a pot o chili and just consumed a bowl!"
Where the hell was I now, I plum forgot! Oh, oh, oh! I did watch Doc Phil. You can bet your arse there be people crazier, fucked up a heap more than me! Doc Phil needs him a Doc Phil House in every city in the U. S. of A. heah! The one thing fer sure is, I can see why there be so many messed up children today. Because there's so many one parent families, yet both parents are fucking nuts. I'll preside over the Doc Phil House in my city.
What the world needs now besides LOVE BABY, is truth! Must be the food and water consumed today, every body be fucking nuts. Remember now I'm only a few months out of the workforce, I seen it first hand and still see it in my little world! EVERYBODY . . . knows everything . . . They don't know diddly!
Okay I seen Doc Phil a long time ago on the Oprah when he was a consultant for Oprah over the remark she made about beef. Yeah . . . somebody got thier panties in a pinch about what she said! Well now Doc Phil was liked by the big O, and he was on her show. What I liked about this here good old boy from Texas was he told these crazy arse people what he thought! He cut to the chase. Well now that's what I like. If somebody be fucked up, don't give them a lifetime of once a week one hour sessions, or crazy pills. Hit them betwixt the eyes with the truth baby!!! Tell them the truth, let them cry, pout, throw hissy fits, and get over it! NO, modern therapy ainna workin' baby!!!! If it is, why we got so many fucked up people? I say three strikes and you're out baby! Don't keep on makin' babies . . . to be further fucked up! Makes no sense to a once brain dead old man!
I been a watchin' some shows like Bar Rescue and so on and so forth. Many shows be on where a smart person goes and helps straighten out a hotel, bar, restaurant so on and so forth, ya see. Well to cut to the chase, the people owning, running, managing be fuckin' stupid. They cannot manage, are dumber than Owl shite! Another words, "they ain't got no common sense!!!"
SO TO MY RECOLLECTING, AS AN OLD MAN NO LONGER IN THE WORK FORCE, THE MOST BASIC THING MISSING IS THERE BE NO COMMON SENSE ANY MORE. AN ALIEN SPACE SHIP, SURR-NUFF DONE SWEPT DOWN AND FUCKED WITH EVERYBODY'S MIND. THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT!!! Goodnight
It's supposed to be -14 tonight and I could only find one of my gloves today. the daytime temperature was only 11 degrees with the north wind howling "brr, brr, cold!" So one of my hands was snuggly warm and the other was in my coat pocket. Well now, I thought "this may work on a sunny day with the warmth of the sun in my reasonably warm, Mercury, but . . . I may need both hands, therefore both gloves before winters over. " (smart ain't I?) Funny it's the coldest day of the year and I had me the hankering, fer chocolate milk! (hankering means, desire, want, I need some chocolate ya know!) OH! by the way gasoline be $2.15 here in the middle of the Midwest. Who would of a thunk it? (yes I meant to say thunk! Got to watch me now I'm feeling a mite high, I fixed a pot o chili and just consumed a bowl!"
Where the hell was I now, I plum forgot! Oh, oh, oh! I did watch Doc Phil. You can bet your arse there be people crazier, fucked up a heap more than me! Doc Phil needs him a Doc Phil House in every city in the U. S. of A. heah! The one thing fer sure is, I can see why there be so many messed up children today. Because there's so many one parent families, yet both parents are fucking nuts. I'll preside over the Doc Phil House in my city.
What the world needs now besides LOVE BABY, is truth! Must be the food and water consumed today, every body be fucking nuts. Remember now I'm only a few months out of the workforce, I seen it first hand and still see it in my little world! EVERYBODY . . . knows everything . . . They don't know diddly!
Okay I seen Doc Phil a long time ago on the Oprah when he was a consultant for Oprah over the remark she made about beef. Yeah . . . somebody got thier panties in a pinch about what she said! Well now Doc Phil was liked by the big O, and he was on her show. What I liked about this here good old boy from Texas was he told these crazy arse people what he thought! He cut to the chase. Well now that's what I like. If somebody be fucked up, don't give them a lifetime of once a week one hour sessions, or crazy pills. Hit them betwixt the eyes with the truth baby!!! Tell them the truth, let them cry, pout, throw hissy fits, and get over it! NO, modern therapy ainna workin' baby!!!! If it is, why we got so many fucked up people? I say three strikes and you're out baby! Don't keep on makin' babies . . . to be further fucked up! Makes no sense to a once brain dead old man!
I been a watchin' some shows like Bar Rescue and so on and so forth. Many shows be on where a smart person goes and helps straighten out a hotel, bar, restaurant so on and so forth, ya see. Well to cut to the chase, the people owning, running, managing be fuckin' stupid. They cannot manage, are dumber than Owl shite! Another words, "they ain't got no common sense!!!"
SO TO MY RECOLLECTING, AS AN OLD MAN NO LONGER IN THE WORK FORCE, THE MOST BASIC THING MISSING IS THERE BE NO COMMON SENSE ANY MORE. AN ALIEN SPACE SHIP, SURR-NUFF DONE SWEPT DOWN AND FUCKED WITH EVERYBODY'S MIND. THAT'S MY STORY AND I'M STICKING TO IT!!! Goodnight
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