I have been pretty much out of it the last few hours sitting on the couch somewhat watching television. My dog is under the blanket so snug and safe I do believe I'm jealous. This relaxing spell of non-movement, peace and quiet is 'bout as good as it gets. I shall compare it to the post I wrote a few months ago "The Three Hour Minute."
(I see now I may not make it through this post as I'm now at the computer and my brain is flashing 15% I need to regenerate as in Dreamville. )
During the last few hours I have been watching the show "House." I like this show and happen to catch 3 episodes, I've not seen.
(Dag-nap-it! It's not like I don't make enough errors when I try not too, my mind is shot, but I must get out this one thought! I'm making so many mistakes, if I stop this thought will be gone forever, so at one point I'll let er fly and hell who knows it may be fun, I've already laughed at some words! )
As my mind is slowed to a school zone speed, I actually think I may have caught a few winks as I tried watching House. It was during the commercials that my brain wanders in and out of many lands. It's a good feeling as my eyes fixate on the beautiful colors of my big screen. I swear I could write a post per commercial as these late night commercials go on and on! It was during one of these breaks I had the thought I'm aboutto tell you about, so here goes.
Once I was able to read, seems I got lost, reading so many books, comic books, magazines anything with words. I outgrew Fun With Dick And Jane very quickly. I was a voracious reader for the next half century. I was the book, I became the black upon the white, I did not want it to end, but they always did. Then I had a high closing it, then a let down, I must get another.
The daily newspaper has been a part of me since Dick and Jane. Now I skim it finding a few worthy articles usually hidden in the back and very few lines. My favorite part now is once a month my hometown newspaper has a special insert of about 24 pages about local farmers, always there's spectacular pictures of farm animals. Some of these farmers have farmed the same land many generations.
About 10 years ago I lost the desire to read, don't know why except the fricking words seem to have become smaller. I pert-nert stopped reading all together. One day I decided I've always had poor handwriting and I had free time I began by scribbling the alphabet just like in first grade. The hell with this shite boring! Never been one for lacking imagination I take to writing whatever comes into my mind.
I said to myself, "if your going to waste away time, learn to type!"
"What? I answered back to myself, you ain't never typed in your life and have not, a computer!"
My wife had kept her old computer, it was sitting in the closet. So I spent much of one winter writing my first short story "The Flame." I was so pissed off at my inability I gave up for a year or two. I try again and that S. O. B. kerplunk! I got another child's computer for $20. I'm sure as hell not gonna spend money for a good one if I can't type! I was getting along, although not smoothly, many a cuss words made their way into my stories. I was rewriting The Flame because it was lost. I practiced every night, then that S. O. B. blew. I come to the conclusion that this child's computer could not take ME no more! I was heartbroken! That was that, I decided to live with it. Then about a year later my buddy told me about starting up a blog and I still remember saying "a what?" Yep! the only computers I had, I burnt up, and I was done with 'em! He got me a tryin' once more, I went back to writing by hand. He published one of my stories, a true one as a matter of fact and seeing that thing in black and white the flame was lite again. He created Glen View for me and I began practicing again. That was over four years ago and I'm still a typin' and a practicin', yes I am!
Somewhere in this rambling I lost sight of the thought I had while daydreaming a little, watchin' House a little, looking at the beautiful colors on my big screen a little, and thinkin' a little. I hope I can recapture a little of the thinkin' part!
IT WAS SOMETHING ALONG THESE LINES. LEARNING TO READ WAS SALVATION TO A YOUNG BOY WITH IMAGINATION TO SPARE, KEEPIN', A YOUNG MAN FROM EVIL. ENTERTAINED ME THROUGH DARKNESS OF MANY, MANY, KINDS. KEPT MY IMAGINATION UNDER CHECK, BY PUTTING IT TO WISER, SAFER USE.
AFTER MANY YEARS OF NOT READING SOMETHING WAS MISSING, MANY DIFFERENT SIGNS OF DARKNESS COME UPON ME. TOO SURVIVE, TOO THINK ANOTHER DAY SOME PART OF ME KNEW, I MUST FIND SOMEWHERE'S TO GO WITH ALL MY THOUGHTS AND ENERGY. THAT ENERGY IS GOING TO DESTROY ME IF I CAN'T CHANNEL IT, INTO SOMETHING USEFUL . . . AT LEAST TO ME, BECAUSE WHEN YOU THINK TOO MUCH, THINGS CAN GO ROUND AND ROUND AND DO A BODY ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD!
I hope this makes a little sense. I've thought of giving up many times it's too hard, you cannot teach an old dog with one foot a straddling the grave! Then I remember the love of reading that started it all. IF I CAN GIVE ANYONE OUT THERE LAUGHTER, A TEAR, ANY KIND OF ENTERTAINING AND YOU COME BACK FOR MORE, THEN IT'S CERTAINLY WORTH IT.
I WISH TO THANK FROM DEEP WITHIN MY HEART, THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE
COME UPON MY HUMBLE HOME. I APPLAUD THOSE OF YOU THAT HAVE READ MOST OF MY 750 + RAMBLING POST.
I'M TOO TIRED TO CARRY ON ANYMORE, PLEASE FORGIVE MY ERRORS AS I INTEND TO PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE, TILL I ACHIEVE PERFECTION . . . NAH!!! THAT AIN'T MY STYLE, I'M A SIMPL MAN THAT WISHES ONLY
"TO BE ME!" UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!!!
House was one of my favorite shows. I hated when they ended it.
ReplyDeleteAnd YOU, don't ever try to be perfect. I like you just the way you are. "Perfect" is highly overrated !