Rainy days and Mondays, always get me down!!!

I have said before how much I hate MONDAYS! Seems I always have. However after thinking upon it I do not remember hating Mondays in grade school. I loved grade school1 I was still a kid during this part of the formative years. Yes, I believe I was a typical kid during that period. What changed?

I reckon certain happenings that soon changed a child into feeling the unbearable responsibilities that were to come, too soon, that shortchanged my childhood, into adult-reality! Walls built of Bugs Bunny, The Three Stooges, The Little Rascals, The kind of imagination obtainable only thru books, dreams, was shattered. Walls built out of love, unlike non other, except . . . a mother's love, come crumbling down searching for another breath, another heart beat. My best friend, my hero, my loving grandpa could no longer catch his breath! He passed away at my current age, from smoking cigarettes for 40 years! He's been gone for 50 years, yet I am still able to visualize, feel . . .  that exact moment I heard the news "he had passed away." I lay there deathly still, crying in my bed with such a heavy weight, now I feel as an adult, that child perished, at that moment. The burden of life, of living, I choose not, to carry, seems the young boy, now a man, hasn't a choice.

Six years before, I lost my younger sister, I was six, she was but 18 months. I retain with me until this day, her love, bright red hair, a beautiful smile. Mostly the first flash in my mind is, a six year old seeing her without a smile lying in the casket, no movements, that's not my Sissy! Adults cannot explain to a six year old what is going on. So the picture of her in the casket will not recede, it's stuck at that moment in time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SORRY! One never knows what will happen when you sit down and wait for words to happen, perhaps there is something to this automatic writing, huh?
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

I SHALL CLOSE ON THESE FEW WORD THAT HAVE TAKEN ME BACKWARDS,   ( which mentally has taken its toil all these years, )  PERHAPS FOR A REASON AND SLEEP UPON THEM, WHO KNOWS HOPEFULLY SOME OF THAT LOST LOVE WILL REJUVENATE ME TO LIVE MANY MORE MONDAYS, NOT HATING THEM, CERTAINLY THERE MUST BE A REASON AS I STARTED THIS POST TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE MONDAYS AND PROCEED TO DEATH OF LOVED ONES IN MY FORMATIVE YEARS THAT HAS CAST A GLOW ON WHOM I AM FIFTY, AND FIFTY SIX YEARS LATER???????????????? HOW CAN ONE FIGURE SUCH UNANSWERABLE QUESTIONS?    ( You know there has to be a reason why these words appear tonight! Perhaps, my cleansing is needed or to help another! ) 

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TAKING A LITTLE BREAK, WHO KNOWS? GOOD NIGHT AND MAY GOD BLESS!!!   ( Red Skeleton always ended his show with that . . . )