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Friday, November 22, 2013

Meandering Silliness, Today!


Just got home from work, a light mist, I mean a really, really, light mist was falling. How light? It's so light I could just barely feel it on the back of my hand. I raise my head up to the sky and it felt so gentle. Such a lovely feeling came over me. I turn towards the yellow light of the parking lot. The miniscule droplets are golden. Beauty . . .  I'd reckon! Damn the frustration of work are gone by such a simple thing. I drive over to Taco Bell. I have about 30 minutes until they close. A couple soft taco supremes in me belly uh. uh. uh! It took some time to get such a hard order, two taco supremes. I get to the drive up window and the employees hands me a drink. I said to him "TWO TACO SUPREMES." That was the fourth time I had repeated such a complicated order. He ask me "any sauce?" I say "two mild please." Well now the fine outstanding young man must have some kind of  a l-e-a-r-n-i-n-g disability! Guess what? No fricking sauce! I guess late at night he must a been smoking, something other than a cigarette y'know!

I see a help wanted sign on the front door of my favoritiest . . . convenience store.

It reads "help wanted, must be 21 and willing to work."

What bothers me about this help wanted sign?

Must be 21, because they sell booze, OKAY! EVERYBODY sells booze today, don't they?

Help wanted, now what in tarnation do people think their gonna do here? Sit around guzzling sodie-pop and Budweiser, smoking cigarettes, OR whatever all day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does not? HELP WANTED signify, imply, WORK? (I don't know, I'm soo out of touch today!!)

I happen to be a regular at this convenient store for gas and sodie-pop.

Side note. I filled my Mercury Mountaineer up Tuesday morning gas was $2.99 a gallon. This morning, two days later, it was $3.35, who can figure it???

I know what yer thinkin, "damn big S. U. V. donna, getta, many miles per gallon."Nope, and your right! This here old fat, gray haired man only drives two miles to work . . . and . . . I . . . lika a vehicle that I can fit comfortable in! My knees, back and all other parts of me body, donna, bend like they used to! Ya see, so since my old Van gave out, went ker-plunk... Well now, I be a shopping fer somethin I want in me price range. I be a lookin high and low. DAMN! they want a new price for old things! I be a thinkin, (I know I do that too much!) Let's say you have a five year old, vehicle with 91,000 miles on it, they be askin, waay, too much. I tell myself, "I'mma gonna watch for a ten year old, or so with around 100,000 miles on it. Seems some people think once a vehicle hits that big mark it just goes ker-plunk! Anyways, I finally found one. By the way what does S. U. V.  stand for?

Super size are Us Vehicle,

Standard U-s-a Vehicle,

Smarter than U. Vehicle,

Suck Up gas Vehicle,

Stupid Fricking Vehicle,

Enough of that stupid shit!

I absolutely, love, my Mercury Mountaineer! Man that S.O. B. is smart. Apparently it does not like it when the temperature gets below freezing. My ABS light comes on. I don't know what that means. I reckon that computer on me S. U. V. be making it work out or somethun. I watch some commercials on television where people are exercising and show their bellies, looks like they ate rocks or somethun. When my outside thermometer on me Mountaineer gets above freezing the ABS light goes off. It's like, "me don't like cold weather." I gotsa, to step up, to get into that Mountaineer. I find it much easier, than squatting, twisting my body a certain way to get in the other vehicle we have. (I ain't a contortionist!) That little sucker is good on gas, but I can't get out, once I'm in. It must love me and don't want me to get out!

Me and that old Mountaineer are a lot alike. Been around the block a time or two, still a ticking! For how long, who knows! It looks real nice! I like it!

ONCE AGAIN I got off track, imagine that!!!

I think something must be wrong with that help wanted sign they have never taken it down in the three years since they built this convenience store. First and foremost they call themselves convenient!!! Convenient my ass! I can be the only person in the whole fricking store at 3 in the morning. Their making coffee, or somethun, ignoring me! It may be convenient if you pay at the pump! Go inside for a sodie-pop, or anything, and they make you wait! I be the only moron there, and the cashier finally comes to take my money . . . guess what he says, "you'll have to wait," he then proceeds to place a thousand $ worth of $20 bills into a computer vault or somethun.

It be my own fault! If I didn't work at night, then, there would be no trouble right? Wrong! When I do venture out into the daylight on a rainy, overcast day, (I don't want to burst into flames!) Say me and my Misses go to Menards, or Texas Roadhouse. If you stop into my fav convenient store, there be, three people walking around, four cash registers, only one open, one working, AND it be the trainee! The line be long, seems everydody decided to buy lottery tickets, or worse, have their tickets checked! Then when you finally think their done, they buy new scratch off tickets with what they've won! (((Don't these people get it you ain't never gonna get ahead!!!)))

I HAVE MUCH COMPASSION FOR THE ONES THAT MUST WORK AT THESE CAFFEINE, ALCOHOL, NICOTINE, GAMBLING, GASOLINE, MONSTROCITIES WE HAVE TODAY.

I THINK WALGREENS SHOUD GET INTO THIS BUSINESS. WHY?  THEN IT COULD BE A ONE STOP, ONE SHOP, FOR ALL OUR ADDICTIONS. MAKE MARIJUANA LEGAL, PAY OFF THE NATIONAL DEBT. PLACE A DOCTOR THERE.

SHIT! WE COULD GET OUT OF DEBT AND BE THE HAPPIEST GROUP OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD!  

OH MY GOD! THIS WOULD MAKE A MODERN DAY CHEECH AND CHONG MOVIE. HELL THERE STILL ALIVE, I HOPE THEY READ MY POST TODAY, THEY COULD COME OUT OF RETIREMENT AT THE OLD FOLKS HOME!   [ Snoring . . . .]

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