GONE POSTAL!!!

Good morning, friends. It's brrr . . . "cold as a well digger's ass," (that's an old saying, I use to hear whan I was a tadpole.)  in my neck of the woods! Yep! 22 degrees!!! When this old boy be at work, he can thinka of countless things to write about. Ain't that always the case? I believe I could cure every problem of the world while I'm hopped up on caffeine, sugar and that buzz that I get from just, a workin.  That adrenalin keeps this old man's heart a pumping, yes it does. Better than any pills my Dr. prescribes, Makes me feel, ALIVE!!!

The other night whilst I was watching the movie The Last Angry Man, the main character was at the breakfast table getting ready to go to work. He takes a pill, his wife says, "better be careful of taking too many of them. "Dexedrine make me walk faster!" he says.

I'mma, gonna give you one chance to guess what that is?  Ah come on people in the 50's they were prescribed like handing out chocolate at Halloween time! DEXTROAMPHETAMINE, USED FOR A STIMULANT AND APPETITE DEPRESSANT!!!!

I readeth, (I lika . . .  the waya, that sounds so I leavin in, OKAY,) an article somewhere, where this stimulant Dr. prescribed like candy as treatments for over 200 different things, disorders, or somethun to that effect.

Once upon a time, (No, not necessary to use these words, I just loove to start off a sentence with once upon a time, lika I'm going to tell a fairy tale.) I was watching a documentary about the drugs being given to the German soldiers during World War II. The mustached one, er the leader, was also hooked big time on these drugs. CHOCOLATE . . . (No! no! no! just fooling with ya!)

(((Although I be an addicted to chocolate and sodie-pop!)))

Damnnn! I got to thinkin about chocolate and sodie-pop and plum forgot 'bout what was on my mind! One of these days I won't take my medicine that slows my heart rate down, and drink a bunch o sodie-pop and see where me mind takes me. As me grandma would say, "Lord have mercy, what in tarnation you a doing that fer?"

                                PLACE GLEN EDITORIAL HERE

(why the fuck, can't these fricking fingers keep up with me, mind? i ain't even @#%^ed up on nothing! man i can't wait for the day my fingers can go as fast as my brain, "Lord have mercy that surely would be a hoot!) automatic writing, spirit writing, spiritual writing, er any other kind o writing makes no difference to mr. glen. i just want to be able to type well, well, not well, as fast at least, as a well digger can dig a well.

No that's not my Glen-a-torial! (I like that, NO I REALLY LIKE THAT! Has a nice o ring to it, MORE real!

We're in our busy season at work, man o man, did I have to work me arse off last night, and work over four hours. Now, I don'ta, lika, overtime, nope, nada, huh-uh!!!! NO SIR!

Well, we having some problems at work, y'know. (I reckon you don't know, just take me word for it as I take you along for the thrill ride!!!) We be trucking right along, y'know, production shite. We go from one job and a piece on the main machine, ainna doing it's thing, called inhibiting. (Hey I don't make this kind of crap up! I'm like a reporter ya ain't never seen before. "I just report the facts mam." That line be from an old ass television show, Dragnet.)

So a machine has a problem, which messes our product up BIG . . . time. We have a heap more to do and the Boss comes in, EXPECTIN to see some work, y'know! You know how some Bosses can be, work, work, production, production and such shite! This here inhibitor thing-a-ma-bob, fricked up! Boss says to me, "Let's see if we can fix it?"

"You talkin to me? huh!huh! So here be me Boss, oh by the way that's what I call her Boss, not her real name, just Boss. She be okay with it, causin she knowsa, howsa, my mind work! (She still allows me to maintain the machine!) Scarry ain't it? We be a talkin, using technical words like "why ain't it workin?" No! We ain't technical wizards! We be shade tree mechanics from the school of hard knocks! We use, ordinary, everyday, Glen Bob words, like I use here. If I don't know the correct mumbo jumbo, fer the what-cha-ma-call-it, I borrow some words from my upbringing, this one I absolutely love, is from my mom. Do-dad, you know, do-dad? Oh yeah! I know Do-dad.

We says, "why ain't it a workin, we just finished one job and it were a working finee!" (Please read . . . slowly . . . I want you to roll, the word fine, now add another e, that be southern folk talk, in the state to where's I live. I will just say "I live around the Ohio river, in the heart of the Midwest, and it ain't close to California or NewYork.)  

 (((My Hewie Picardo Compie, issa getting right riled at me!!! When I first spelled California I misspelled it, imagine that!!! I spelled it Calfornia. PLEASE TELL ME YOU SEE WHERE I WENT A RONG! The red underlining was flashing. I ain't, nevur, seen that afore. My goal is to completely fricking freeze my computer up, by Christmas. Maybe, old Santa will bring me a new more modern one, so as I can't start anew on it!!!

I just quacked, meself up. Boy . . . I have more fun than a barrel of hillbillies typin on my HEWIE JOHN LUKE PICARDO, WHY?? I'LL TELL YOU WHY! I best hurry 'fore my mind changes channels. I have over a hundred channels, and still growing at last count. (I like to use the letter a in some instances, I'm sure you've noticed that! So I used the word a new, and there really is a word anew. Damn blew my mind!!!

I been a thinkin 'bout askin a friend o mine, to interpret what I write for you. He knows me rather well (poor soul!) I think that would be some real fun. Like Cheech and Chong goes postal!! (Ah come on people . . . pleassee, tell me you got that!) I be, a workin me wittle fingers to the bone, a lurnin this righting stuff.

(((I just threw you another one, PLEEAASSEE, tell me you got that!

What's so funny in my mind about asking my friend to do this??? He's from my home state, then moved to California as a lad. He's College educated and writes a blog. He wishes for me to call him Ah Clem, he be funny that way??? He's a real good ol' boy like me and believe it or not we usta have some mighty fine . . . conversations. I haven't seen him in awhile and I miss him. I'm thinkin 'bout surprising him one of these days. Please don't tell him though. I know where he lives, if he reads this, heal, probably move!!!

(((I know! I know! shoulda, coulda, been, [he'll!] Damn . . . where you think you be . . . London?))
 THIS HERE POST HAS GONE ON TOO LONG PLUS I FORGOT WHAT MY GLENITORIAL WAS GONNA BE.    

This be to my ol' buddy Ah Clem, "How's about me and you teaming up and writa somethun? We be like Cheech and Chong, y'know, only, Ah Clem and Glen Bob, instead of smoking half the Mary Jane Wanna in California, we write y'know. Be like one old hippie (that be you) and me! (an ol' moron.)

OH!!! I JUST GOT A FLASH!!! HOW 'BOUT YOU WRITE THE FIRST POST 'BOUT ME? INTRODUCTION, SO TO SPEAK. CAUSIN THESE FOLKS DON'T KNOW NOTHING 'BOUT ME. KINDA LIKE THAT MOVIE, "CONTACT". THE FIRST ALIEN LIFE FORM TO BE INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD!!! IF'N YOU WANNA, PLEASE E-MAIL IT TO ME AND I'LL POST IT DIRECTLY.    (I've not been checking my e-mails, but I will now.)