What did you do today?

Hello, what did I do interesting today? Let me think, what day of the week is it? Thursday! Yikes! seems like yesterday was Monday. Where did Tuesday and Wednesday go? Man this getting old and lose of time and memory sucks! I must have losing-time-in-hiemers! Hate to make fun of old people but I'm one of them old people. Let's see I got out of bed, s-l-o-w-l-y, went to the bathroom, s-l-o-w-l-y, could not find my glasses, because I could not see them. Took my medicine s-l-o-w-l-y. Let the puppies out, went to put my clothes on, forgot that the dogs were out. One hour later walked by the double doors, heard them barking a strange frantic bark. I forgot them and being that I am hard of hearing, they stayed outside longer than normal, they were a mite cold. I thought "I'll give them a treat and turn on the heating pad." The phone rang, I heard it only because it was right beside me on the desk, It scared the piss out of me, why? because I be hard of hearing, if I'm in the other room I cannot hear it. ("No I do not carry my cellphone with me every where I go. ) I hung up on the phone call, a telemarketer trying to sell me one of them type tubs that makes it easier for us senior citizens to get in and out of with a place to sit our asses on. I was pissed first off, I rarely answer the phone and the one time I hear it, a salesman is trying to sell me such a thing, second how the fuck did they know I'm old, sons a bitches! they probably know the brand of toilet paper I wipe my ass with! After I cooled off and the dogs warm up, everything returns to normal. I realized, I've not had my shower, nor changed clothes. Yikes! I've had a full day of excitement already. Oops! my belly be a growling, forgot to eat. I eat, feed the dogs, I think!!! I eat slowly, clean the dishes, slowly, asked myself "why have I not dressed it?" The dogs go to the door, a process they follow after I fed them. "Their probably discussing amongst themselves "if we go out and poop, is this old fart going to let us back in?" I go to the bathroom asking myself "did I brush my teeth, oh well, if I did won't hurt nothing." As I'm getting into the bathtub, holding onto the support handle I had put on a year or so ago, after coming home from the hospital. I'm thinking "maybe one of them new type old folks tubs would be a good idea!" Finally I'm dressed and don't remember taking my medicine, so I take them. Heard the dogs barking strangely, open the door and ask them, "what are you doing out there?" I go into the living room and turn on the television, flip channels and start watching a documentary about Ancient Aliens. The dogs are on my lap shaking, "why are you guys so cold?" I place a blanket over us and all three of us are visiting nap-town. After a nice nap we wake up, "damn it's getting late why did I take a nap I usually don't take a nap?" I walk passed the door and ask the dogs, "you guys need to go out?" They run to the bedroom, "I reckon they didn't need to go out!" My wife comes home, she ask "how was your day?" I replied "had a full day!" The dogs come out from under the bed when they hear my wife's voice, wagging their tails at the door. She ask them "you guys have to go out?" Which they did knowing they would not have to stay out very long, she would not let them freeze. We eat dinner, watch television and my day was done. You see my days are full, every day's the same pretty much, a week seems like a day, not much to shake up my routine. Me and the dogs live the life of Riley, retired and keeping the recliner warm. It's a rough life but must be done, a job we're meant for. No stress factors for me you see. The stress on them is staying outside in the cold longer than they would prefer. They hold no grudges as they get to lay with me under the cover in our recliner.