Hit Me With Your Best Shot!

WARNING, PLEASE READ SLOWLY, I BE MANIC TONIGHT!!!

Dag-nap-it, I ain't figured out why somedays I get squash, as far as my hit counts, and some days it makes, an old man smile. Here I be pouring my wittle mind out,          

(((Ooohhh, there be daylight in the Okay-a-no-pee swamp, that there be the answer thank you Lord! I must implode upon that, damn, I'm a hitting on no cylinders tonight! I watched a show on The Animal Planet last night about Gator hunting, sure weren't no family show, like my ol' Mate Steve Erwin, The Crocodile Hunter. Crikey, they'd put a bullet between the eyes of Wally Gator! Okay . .. they could of just picked up the rifle, but nooo, you could see the water splash upwards after the bullet done it's job!))) 

                                                                                                        and the ones I think ain't to damn bad get hardly nothin'. Oh well, I be bearing my heart and soul, that be better than paying them devil dogs, that'll listen to you for an hour, and just when you feel you're hitting pay dirt, they say . . . "Sorry our hour is up, see you next week!" They have been doodling, planning vacations, creating visions of their own, on my hour, they go to some kind of Therapist School, so they'd know the right time to say somethin' to keep you talkin' for the hour. I don't know how much them Therapist charge, but I'll bet you 10 cuss words, to a jelly donut, them there, Doctors that prescribe the really good stuff to them sucker-rooneys with insurance, make a right good living.

I must interrupt this??? for a word from ol' Glen. Whoo-wee!! Have I confused you? Let me see, I goes from talkin' 'bout my hits, to swamps, Wally Gator getting a bullet in his brain, to Steve Erwin, to . . . I'm outta control, pleeaassee, call my Doctor for some really good, meds!

DAMN! YOU HAFTA, TO ADMIT, I BE ON SOMETHIN', TERRIBLY GOOD . . .  OR SOMETHIN', TERRIBLY BADD!!!

I'll recap my last couple hours of tonight. Please bear with me, or you may change channels! I must warn you, instead of parental control for you nine year old on ANIMAL PLANET. I ya, be plum ass mental! Damn . . . I'll never get out of this mess, I've blabbered my way into!

I went to work, first mistake! I could a stayed home, and watch Bambi being scarfed down by a lion!

Off track again! Had to drive the fricking work truck again. Stopped and got me some trail mix goodies while pumping diesel, hmmm, diesel fumes? Did you know that trail mix has almost no sodium in it, and good! Came home and smoked something' good! No! no! no! ol' Glen don't do that! Come home from work and drank a glass o milk, Yep, it be the trail mix, diesel fumes, and fat free milk. So I had really low sodium in my trail mix, diesel fumes, and fat free milk. Ya know . . . I may of accidentally hit on some new, modern, non alcohol, no weed, no big Pharma, concoction to make you feel right good! What can I call it?

Pleeaassee check back later, I hafta take a small break and see if I have typed what I think I have, Or just another of my dreams.

I was so out of it I went to bed, this be 24 hours later. All I can say, I want more of that, and by the way, HIT ME WITH YOUE BEST SHOT!