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Thursday, December 12, 2013

Late Night Commercials and Maybe a Chuckle? ( I Hope? )

Some of you may not see them. They've been around as long as I can remember. You know what I call the late night commercials. The first that I remember was the Veg-o-matic. It slices, dices, it does it all! Remember the pocket fisherman, Yep my not to smart father, from the hills and the hollers with only a grade school education, bought it hook-line-and sinker!  ( Place laugh here , , ,ha, ha! )

"Work with me pleeaassee?"

Between then and know there's been a heap of products they've sold. "Was it Ronco, that sold them?" Remember all the extra goodies that they would give as a bonus? No I can't, but they made you feel like they were giving you the deal of a lifetime AND . . . todays commercials still do the same. like the new chopper, dicer, shredder, like the old veg-o-matic, called Miracle Chopper err something or the other. Todays gimmicky gimmick sales pitch is get two for the price of one, also they'll throw in something you would never use giving you a $100.00 value for just $19.95.

I think my mother still has that veg-o-matic. My father loved his pocket fisherman soo much he placed it on his gun rack in his pick up truck, so that any creek he crossed he could jump out and reel in a big ol' fish. Yes he did!

This summer they were advertising a 25 foot hose that you could store easily because it would shrink back up after you turn the water off. Reminds me of those snake fireworks we use to sit off as kids. Never worry about leaks, kinks, tripping over ever again. This sucker shrinks back to a fraction of its size.

This putting pressure to it becoming long, yet can shrink back down to a mere fraction, reminds me of . . . ( Never mind!!! )

Get two of these super hoses for the price of one. They must not have much confidence in their product. How many people need more than one hose?

Oh! oh! oh! I know, maybe it's a conversation piece. Erma Mae . . .  loves to show off her new hose that gets really long and hard! Then it shrivels back to almost nothing and then she puts in a shoe box for safe keeping. But wait! She has a spare for free! If it ever wears out! Unlike her late husband who only lasted 25 years.

I remember them weed eaters commercials that you could make into so many different tools. They're ain't nobody round my neck of the woods who gonna keep their yard that nice. Although, they might use it to trim the weeds around every car, they've ever owned. Nah! that's what they have them goats and the mule for!

Uncle Earl Bob always bought up the all the scrap metal, like old tractors and implements, he said, "one of these days they'll be worth a lot of money!" Yep! he were right! He died and Ma sold all his junk and moved to town and bought her one of them Can-do-men-in. Rights next door were a Frenchmen named Pierre. He invited her over for dinner one night and well Ma's children say they never seen such spark in Ma's eyes afore. Seems Pierre was a plumber. Ma's says, he were a plumbing fool, she has a lot of plumbing that needed to be put back in working order, after many years of neglect!"

Children told her to "sue the Can-do-men-in place. No! No! no! "she weren't a gonna sue nobody! Having all these plumbing needs, that need fixin' has made her the happiest woman in the whole U. S. A.

Well know, the children were happy for Ma. All her wishes have come true. She living in a fairy tale without fairies, She has a beautiful yard with a lake out back. Two bedrooms with two baths. Both inside. No damn ornery mule, nor, goats to hear going baaa, baaa, all damn day. No chickens running around, no hound dog on the front porch. Pierre gave her little French Poodle after the first dinner.

She tells all, "she's living like a Queen, please don't worry about her plumbing, Pierre 's gonna work on her plumbing and do all the roto-rootering, until her pipes are running free, and she hollers can-do-men-in, ten times." She be so out a breath every time Pierre works on her plumbing, "that ain't never gonna happen, she says!!!

AND MA LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!   ( I CAN'T BELIEVE, I WROTTA, WHATTA, I WROTTA! OH WELL JUST ANOTHER VISIT TO GLENVIEW! )   

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