Dawn draws near, I find myself on my way home. It's 5:30 AM, the sun soon will peek out. I have looked upon the beauty of tonight's full moon, enjoying the clear clean coolness of late Sunday beyond midnight. I had no intention of being out and about this early morning, forcing myself to stay up late reading until my eyes blur. I go to bed with the intention of sleeping until daylight or beyond. It was not meant to be, for my life is topsy turvy! I must work while others sleep, I must sacrifice the darkness hours of regeneration, as it's meant to be. The modern man adapts working around normalcy. Ah, but my question to you my dear friends? I wish for you to describe in detail, what normal is?
I park briefly and step out of my midnight coach. I happen upon a lake along a country road, the fog rises from the water creating breathtaking magic to the night. I always seem to find inner peace during this time of the day. I wish not for the night to end. I have more comfort to feel in my heart. The solitude I find every Sunday Morning after a week of tolling for the man, that I must in order to earn my meager existence. I search out renewing my limitations, my spirit, my soul.
How can one find pleasure on a dark country road in the darkness of the night?
I ask, "how can one find pleasure in the darkness of the daylight? Where animals are scurrying hurriedly, into their cramped, cold confines of a cubicle. Where the noise of mighty machinery drown out your thoughts, even though you wear hearing protection. Your heart feels the thumping of the clankity-clank-clank. The vibrations, cause your heart to tighten, like a clenched fist! Sheesh what a life, heh!
It has become a hurry up and wait world, of that I have no doubt! Why has everything become more of a burden, rather than less. Surely you can identify with that.
To prolong my life I do my damnest to avoid obstacles that cause stress. Stress finds me, I don't go looking for it! How so? If you must ask this question then you must live in that 'special' 'challenged' world of oblivion, I'm so jealous!!!
The special, the challenged, lie in the abyss of un-knowing, un-caring, void of reasoning beyond understanding, take care of me! Enjoying, lollipops, ice cream cones, puppy dogs and rainbows, without the burden that weigh heavily on others.
I despise the ones born with a silver spoon in their mouth, yet I also pity them! To be given all the wants one can imagine without the thrill of earning even the slightest is not having lived.
The small victories of self achievement, giving all, doing your best seems somehow forgotten. Maybe it's me
and I'm an old soul born at the wrong time, most likely that's true, I think, I fear!
I began to tell a true tale of just last night. I lost myself somewhere in thought.
I pull over beside the lake and feel the cool dampness of the fog surrounding only the lake. The light of the new day breaks, I gaze upon while my eyes adjust to the darkness I see movement upon the water, waves lightly rippling, then .... I see beauty in the lightest darkness dawning! My heart flutters, filling with contentment. Do you wish to know what gives me goosebumps, not from the coolness, although that is true, but life moving around effortlessly. Old and new intermingling, perhaps as many as a hundred Canadian Geese and Goslings lie a top the lake. Not seen by the normals, the night gives me comfort. I seek the quiet stillness and pleasure of a dark country road, I must have it at this time of my life, if I am to survive another day! Goodnight